


The plans that he made himself

by TheRagdollWrites



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: All The Love, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo being the BAMF we all needed, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Complete, Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Gap Filler, I Made Myself Cry, Okay let’s get serious, Redeemed Ben Solo, Retelling, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, all the feels, for now at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-22 15:50:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22718473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRagdollWrites/pseuds/TheRagdollWrites
Summary: Rey didn’t see his face, but the mask again - the black shell cracked with red. Veins filled with fire. She proved herself right when she said he didn’t scare her anymore, but for a moment, she worried she was never going to see his face again.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 15
Kudos: 51





	1. Collision

**Author's Note:**

> I went down a rabbit hole of meta-analysis, plot hole speculation, and extended fan theory while I wrote this. I wanted to strip away the baggage of this being a conclusion to an epic galaxy-spanning, generation-defining, forty-plus-year-long saga, and focus on two lonely young people trying to understand what they mean to one another, while storms of war rage around them.  
> If I’m honest, I feel bad for these two superb actors - despite everyone’s best intentions, they deserved better from the writers/directors. And do not get me started on the OT trio…
> 
> All I hope is that you get some enjoyment from my sentimental rambling. If you don’t like, please don’t hate me. This was written with love and affection. I promise.
> 
> Title from ‘Smoke’ by Audra Mae

It’s one of the most fundamental laws in the universe, simple enough to teach a child, Force-sensitive or otherwise. No matter how much power anyone could possibly wield, the same laws must apply.

Every action has an equal opposing reaction. Everything has a consequence. Not in the least, a gash across the face from a lightsaber.

It’s not true that the Force has actual intentions of its own. It has rules. But it’s not always constant: it depends on sensitive people to use it with respect in order for balance to be maintained. Anyone drawing power from it must never be irresponsible, the Force will heap full repercussions on the careless. It will dish out what is taken to it. If darkness is allowed to fester and grow unchecked, it gets more seductive, more subtle… and nobody, not even on the dark side, is spared from punishment.

The memory was blurring… Kylo wasn’t fazed by the feeling of losing his temper yet again, not when he still had the upper hand. Han only saw his lost child, and walked straight into a sprung trap. A shot from the bowcaster of a horrified Chewbacca wasn’t going to slow him down. Finn had been easy to dispatch, but then came the girl. He’d already underestimated Rey, assuming that as she was untrained, she wouldn’t be resourceful. After all, she grew up in a harsh place, she would need to be able to outcompete other scavengers. He’d already made his first mistake, when she could deflect his probing of her mind straight back.

Foolish of him. Rey held her own, proving that with some teaching, she’d be a formidable match for a warrior like him. First in the interrogation chair, but even more outside, with a serious weapon in her hands and raw emotion fuelling her… even as he dripped blood trails in the snow from the bowcaster wound, he kept up his assault, lashing off with unheeded fury. Kylo felt the blue blade lick across his chest, up his neck, and split his cheek open, nearly taking out his eye. He could feel his flesh cauterising. Blood that tasted of metal, spilled over his face… as he landed in the snow.

Crackling of lasers against the ground. Scorching agony he didn’t care to acknowledge. And from below, deep rumbling…

The fissure in the very earth, hot and raging, pushing Rey away from him.

Starkiller Base had been destroyed. He didn’t know what had happened until after the medical frigate had spirited him away. For once, he was almost docile as his wounds were tended, his temper burnt out by the dull weight of defeat.

He couldn’t even sleep, he felt so ruined. How could this have gone so badly? This random nobody had never held a Jedi’s weapon before, never been taught anything of the Force. She’d acted on instinct, allowing something unknown to command her actions, as well as what she knew already of defending herself from other Jakku heathens. And she beat him.

This was beyond humiliation.

There was one small consolation Kylo could give himself: he always knew she was out there, somewhere, whoever this person was. The Supreme Leader had told him little of the light side, aside from the half-remembered lessons from Luke… one thing Kylo was sure of, was his reflection in the light, growing stronger in step with him… and he would have to face it, in order to complete the dark side doctrine.

And how could Kylo answer for this defeat?

Pretty much everyone filling the ranks of the First Order knew better than to ask. After all, nobody had witnessed the fight, and nobody would want to risk making Kylo lash out.

As a boy, he’d grown used to this unconscious feeling of displacement; the child of a former outlaw father, and his mother a head of state, his earliest years were nothing if not… restless. And restlessness would prove to last.

Leia couldn’t explain the quickening in the Force when she felt her child stirring within her, nevertheless she could sense her son’s presence beyond what an ordinary mother would expect to. Newfound life like a pulse of bright light, laced through with darkness… Han threw himself into bonding with his son, and took it upon himself to teach him to fly, perhaps to make up for his inability to touch the Force.

Nevertheless, even in marriage and parenthood, Han Solo and Leia Organa were never able to fully bridge the chasm between their respective natures. Personalities that gave off sparks often yet unpredictably, and careers that would pull them opposing directions across the galaxy would have ramifications… heaped upon a young boy caught in the eye of entangling pursuits, and left feeling abandoned.

As if that wasn’t enough, his parents were deeply reluctant to tell him who his grandfather was, and once they did eventually did, Ben found himself on a one-way trip to the one person who turned the infamous Darth Vader back to the light. In the hope that he’d be in the best of care to learn what to do with his inheritance…

This was the first time Ben realised that he’d never get a truly impartial explanation of the Force from such people. The light is only one part of the whole.

He wasn’t to know that the Supreme Leader had started whispering to him, carefully manipulating him. He only knew the darkness was seeping into him, an infection that would get neglected, until that night -

Luke was too late to see it. And trying to kill Ben in his sleep, to cut the darkness at its root… whether that was mercy or cowardice, it didn’t matter. It was enough to convince him to give in. Shockwaves flew through his family at this betrayal. It drove a deep fracture in Han and Leia’s relationship, and Luke resigned himself to self-imposed exile, provoking Ben’s parents to desperately want to reconnect with him - to make amends?

Nope. Kylo was quite sure it was too late for that.

And regardless, he wasn’t in this fight for the cause. Not really… power for power’s own sake seemed cheap. The Force had been here for millennia before people built empires, and would still be here long after every trace of our existence was a distant memory… and still factions of good and evil waged wars over and over again. As if it really mattered.

Before, when he was still Ben, when he didn’t think he’d be betrayed or have to design any guise, he felt so alone, facing this existential numbness…

And that was what Snoke saw, once again: a broken young man, wishing he could step out from an enormous overhanging shadow, seeking some purpose in the grand schemes and ongoing conflict…

Of course, now he had his new alias, layers of heavy black raiment to armour himself, a mask with vocal distortion to complete his persona of menace. The Supreme Leader was the only person whose command he ever obeyed, aside from whatever was left of Lord Vader, his unctuous presence lacing the mangled remains of his helmet…  
  


But the ghost of his grandfather would never chastise him. Perhaps that was why he kept the wretched thing.

And Snoke, he would have an agenda of his own. He knew which pressure points to tease. If he wanted, he could have Kylo eating from his palm, and they both knew it.

_What more can I do? Where did I go wrong? You taught me to use my anger as my most potent weapon, and it didn’t serve me well in this fight whatsoever._

“I’ve given everything I have to you, to the dark side.” Through the damaged modifier, his voice rasped too much. He sounded sick. A fraction of what he wished he was.

“Take that ridiculous thing off.”

Kylo did so without a word. Baring a heavily stitched slash in a haggard face.

“Yes… there it is… you have too much of your father’s heart in you, young Solo.”

“I killed Han Solo! - ”

“And look at you. The deed split your spirit to the bone. You were _unbalanced_ , bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber! _You failed!!_ ”  
  


How pathetic he felt, now Snoke turned his attempt to intimidate everyone into a symbol of avarice and immaturity.

At the mercy of that short temper, the mask met an untimely end just minutes later: smashed against the wall of the cruiser’s elevator. The sight of a Kylo Ren suddenly willing to show his face and speak without distortion surprised the approaching soldiers, but once he was out of sight, they promptly gathered up the shattered pieces. Evidently, the more pressing issue was the First Order’s priority of consolidating power, particularly now the Resistance had exposed themselves trying, and succeeding, to track Luke Skywalker down.

The last, persistent stand of dissent would hopefully be enough to keep him occupied. For now.


	2. Cause and effect

Was Rey only there for the sake of everyone she’d left behind on the fleet, depending on Luke Skywalker to turn the tide of the war, to restore their hopes of peace and freedom?

Honestly, she wasn’t. Ahch-To gave her weird feelings of déjà vu… as though she’d been here in a previous life, seen only in visions… she hoped the island would welcome her, with its soft, pearly mists and twisting ancient trees. She hoped this concealed hideaway amongst the oldest sacred landmarks in Jedi history, where Luke had settled himself, would have answers. Would help her discipline this enigmatic gift that had been dormant in her all her life, just waiting for her to wake it up…

Luke was having none of it. She wore him down as best she could, but he stubbornly refused to speak to her.

Nevertheless, just when Rey thought she should give up, Luke at last agreed to teach her. Three lessons, no more. Touchstones to help her teach herself what she needed to know.  
  


Kylo Ren was not destined to fail - teachings from the Supreme Leader made sure of that. Alas, he honestly had no explanation for what held him back.

The destruction of _Raddus_ was no further away than a press on a trigger. Yet he hesitated. Just a matter of seconds that allowed the fighters following his own to surge forward.

That Force-deep, soul-deep bond tying him to Leia pulsed with life, as it did before his lungs took their first breath. He knew he was never alone, even as he broke away from her and tried to carve a dark rift behind him… and the thought of his mother finally feeling his presence close to her again, surrounded by the factions that swept them both up to war… no. Not like this.

Catching him completely off-guard.

Not that First Order troopers would be faced with this. With or without Kylo at the helm, they eagerly opened fire on the cruiser, desperate to get some serious damage done before the _Raddus_ could raise her shields back up… not enough to finish off General Organa, though it did wipe out almost all of the rest of the Resistance’s leadership.

 _She survived. The Force can keep her protected._ Kylo knew it. Despite the wealth of power behind him, he just didn’t have it in him to kill his other parent, not after all the repercussions of what happened last time…

Likewise, even with her power, Rey couldn’t have the strength to plunge herself into the Force, to reach halfway across the galaxy and into Kylo’s head - the first thing he felt from her was pure shock. Evidently she _couldn’t_ do it. The effort was way beyond her… and she had no reason to want to anyway. Her first instinct upon seeing him was grab her blaster and fire at him; Kylo heard and felt the shoot, but then nothing. No blood, no pain, no impact anywhere.

When Rey failed to get Luke to return to the movement, instead she wanted him to teach her the ways of the Force… and for a while, her presence went quiet.

  
  


Her being almost childlike in her ignorance of the Force’s mechanics, Luke found himself putting Rey firmly in her place.

The first lesson would have to be showing her how the Force encompasses and penetrates every mote of dust and beam of light in the universe… linking together heat and cold, light and dark, stillness and motion, peace and violence, creation and destruction… oiling the gears of the cycle of life, death and rebirth. Encouragingly, Rey was willing to dismiss all from her mind and let the Force settle on her… he coached her to stretch her feelings out, right around the temple, the cliff face, the entire island. Trying to keep her steady.

And Luke wasn’t prepared for her veering off-balance. So suddenly, and she didn’t resist.

Rey heard the shadows, from caverns beneath the cliff, speaking of things she wanted and luring her to hammer into untapped power… still deep in meditation, she sent a pulse of thunder into the rock beneath her, knocking herself onto her hands and knees.

Luke was aghast. This was already enough for him to regret his decision to teach her… but Rey was shaken as well. Luke had done nothing to stop her - because he couldn’t.

Luke had consciously built a shield between himself and the Force, when he first came here. He made no secret of how he blamed himself for what had become of his nephew… but without a new generation of Jedi, the belief had no future. And he was convinced it was for the best, after meditating on the legacy of the Jedi; how in the height of their power and influence, they allowed Darth Sidious to establish himself, hidden in plain sight. On their watch, the galaxy-wide system that took centuries to build was gone in a heartbeat; a fair, democratic government replaced with merciless dictatorship.

This planet, the last pieces of scripture, and the oldest temples known to the Jedi, were all accounted for. When Luke’s life ended, he’d be taking the religion with him.

He’d wanted to isolate himself… and now this girl had sent shockwaves into his veneer of pristine silence. When he first felt darkness reaching for Ben Solo, he hadn’t feared it soon enough - he couldn’t risk making that mistake again.

Kylo had been waiting, like a hunter concealed downwind. Prepared for ambush. Waiting for her to make a next move.

But she didn’t know how to react, beyond the disgust she instinctively felt for him… so he would have to take charge. Indeed, all he could see was her, a creamy silhouette against the wall of his quarters. Nothing to reveal where she was.

“You’re bringing Skywalker to me,” he growled into the void, hand outstretched as if he could physically cleave her skull open. But she was still just beyond his reach…

“Why is the Force connecting us?”

“You’re too late. _You lost._ I found Skywalker!”

“Can you see my surroundings?” His determined outreach morphed into curiosity.

“ _You’re gonna pay for what you did!_ ”

“I can’t see yours… just you.”

And suddenly: drops of water from a wave hurling itself up behind her. Undeniably real, sharply cold seawater, from many parsecs away, now sprayed into his face, dripping from his leather-clad hands.

By her nature, Rey wasn’t inclined to brood. She was always sanguine and unsentimental, even though her chronic loneliness would be eating away at her. Kylo liked the idea of putting that hunger for connection to his use… even though he was just as confused as she was, to explain how and why they suddenly had a bond between them, that felt incredibly strong in both of them equally. Perhaps, once he’d successfully delivered her to Snoke, he’d have a better chance of hammering into her consciousness for whatever he could get.

_You know I can take whatever I want…_

And perhaps, deep down he knew the Supreme Leader would see Rey as a means to an end. Nothing more. The counter-weight of light keeping the dark in suspension, so he wouldn’t risk the darkness becoming too volatile before his apprentice was ready - indeed, it was part of the plan for Kylo to have to put the work in himself. Once there was no longer any use for her, Snoke would cast her away like a tree dropping a dead leaf… and Kylo would have no further need for her. Wouldn’t he?

It was true, he didn’t need her beyond what Snoke would command for. But, for reasons he refused to even consider, somehow he still wanted her.

So grounded and mindful, was she. Rey didn’t just have this mighty power - she kept it calm within herself, and even when she didn’t know what she was doing, she used her power wisely. Someone less level would find that power too unwieldy to manage so well. Yes, she rapidly latched onto parent figures, and was naïve enough to look for goodness where there probably wasn’t any… but that did nothing to diminish was made him draw to her.

Kylo almost envied her, and selfishly. He was as vengeful and unruly as she was not. He felt stuck in a mire of self-pity and indignation, particularly since the Supreme Leader had responded as he had done to Kylo completing his greatest challenge yet - though not without injury… a couple of years ago, he would’ve been in a not-unfamiliar place, when his betrayal was fresh. And subsequently his filthy temper hadn’t yet begun to swamp him like it did now. Away from Rey, he could accept himself.

But now she could get inside his head, and if she didn’t have her own agenda, she’d see the real Kylo - fragile in his simmering fury, his mind forever ticking down to detonation.

And Rey would _not_ like that. She already loathed him with a passion, and he had no problem being the monster she thought he was.

Why wouldn’t she hate him? In his remorse, Luke had given her a carefully edited version of his perspective on the confrontation with his nephew, which seemed enough to satisfy for the moment. And with her own eyes, Rey watched Kylo plunge his lightsaber into his father’s chest. She wasn’t to know the distress and misery that killing his father had brought. She’d never known any parents of her own, and to her, what he did was unjustifiable.

Getting an eyeful of the scars Kylo had received from their fight, Rey felt her stomach turn with intense discomfort. Not just the sight of him stripped to the waist - tall and sleek, with smooth contours and plenty of lean muscle from all his hard training - but the chilling sight of the evidence on his skin. Sutures removed, the facial scar was already fading, yet it ran, delicate yet relentless, down his throat and right across his chest. He ignored her demanding him to cover himself up.

“Why did you hate your father? Give me an honest answer! You had a father who loved you! Who gave a damn about you!”

Glowering, Kylo turned to her. “I didn’t hate him.”

“Then _why?_ ”

“Why what?”

Rey gulped down a breath.

“Why what? Say it.” His voice grew mellow, contrasting the spiteful glare of those dark eyes, and it frightened her more than his anger would have done.

“Why did you… _why did you kill him?_ I don’t understand.”

“Of course you don’t. Your parents threw you away like garbage.”

“They didn’t!”

“They did. And you can’t stop needing them. It’s your greatest weakness, looking for them everywhere… in Han Solo, and now in Skywalker… did he tell you what happened that night?”

Her “ _Yes._ ” was emphatic, wet with tears and heavy with repellence.

But Kylo’s response was coldly menacing. “No he didn’t. He sensed my power, as he senses yours… and he feared it.”

In an instant, her eyes were filled with the sight of Kylo, younger, ashen in fear, hunkered over his bed holding a blue weapon over him, which crossed the green blade of another lightsaber: Luke’s own, suspended in preparation to kill.

It shook Rey until she felt her heart stumble against her ribs. “Liar…”

But she had returned to Ahch-To’s rugged coastline, a strong gust bowing the grass, porgs chirping softly in the distance… and Kylo’s deep voice, still frosty, impassive, almost counselling her.

“Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. It’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.”


	3. Humility

Night had fallen over Ahch-To. The dark stillness seemed to watch the girl in her bunk, as her tiredness fought with turbulent, freshly-taught knowledge…

“Do you know what they called me? They called me Jedi Killer.”

Rey just lay prone under her blanket, frozen at the sound of that arresting voice emerging from the silence.

“Because I snuffed out the Jedi before they could rise again, and pushed their master to renounce the Force altogether… the Supreme Leader was searching for someone on the divide between light and dark, someone who might consume power from both sides.”

“What… did you do? Didn’t you try to kill him?” Rey dared not to raise her voice.

 _Oh, how little you know._ Kylo had a plan and wasn’t diverging from it. “Maybe I did. I can’t say - anyone would panic. And a storm was immanent - lightning razed the temple, reducing the whole thing to ashes. There was nothing I could do, regardless if Skywalker had survived. I never wanted it to happen like that - but I can’t stop the old things burning up.”

“You’d already turned to the dark side, hadn’t you?” Even though it wasn’t really a question. “Luke told me he knew he was no match for you, but by then it was too late…”

“The Supreme Leader’s word is law. He’d already told me far more than Skywalker ever would, and at his word, if I destroyed Ben Solo, I’d be promised a new identity. So it doesn’t matter either way. Not when I would be given a new life. A new path to herald the legacy of my grandfather’s name. It’s my birthright… the full potential of what the Force can reveal.”

Whatever happened that night, whoever was responsible, Kylo had decided it marked the definitive end of Han and Leia’s son. He couldn’t say if he’d done it wholeheartedly, so perhaps he really hadn’t. Perhaps he’d acted on the will an evil outside force, gently pushing him to turn to darkness.

“You really sound like you’ve been brainwashed.” Rey’s whisper echoed softly into the cold.

“That would imply that I didn’t have a choice.”

“Oh, you admit you had a choice?”

Kylo’s fierce presence seemed to loom into her personal space, his growl sending a shudder through her. “I did _then_. It’s far too late to go back on everything now. I must finish what Vader started, discover the secrets in the Force that he could not. Only then will I be complete… Rey, I have no choice now.”

“And so that means you’ll kill anyone who’s in your way…?”

“You said it yourself, Rey.”

Rey let out a long exhale, her breath a cloud of pale smoke, billowing out and melting away in the murky cold.

_I said it first. I called him a monster first. And yet he has family who love him. Who would bring him back from the dark side. If only they could._

“But… why? Why are you doing this?”

She swore she could see those brown eyes. But there wasn’t filthy I-can’t-wait-to-kill-you anger in them; instead, an unexpected, fierce hunger for her. For her to understand. The restless eyes of a displaced soul.

“I don’t want to fight you. I really don’t. But you’re wrong, you know. You always have a choice.” Rey dared to raise her voice, just a little… but only the lambent lull of the night was there to answer her.

If Luke refused to explain the darkness lurking in the guts of the island, Rey decided, then she’d take matters into her own hands.

She made her way down to the depths of the cliff below the temple, climbing down into a cavern facing north, so almost no sunlight entered it. Weeds trailed and matted together in huge fronds over the rock surface, giving her better purchase as she drew deeper.

Cold winds off the sea murmured coldly to her, delicate voices floating across the stony walls. Rey felt goosebumps rise on her skin, and tried not to let the ghosts frighten her… nevertheless, her inexperience with cool-climate terrain was going to get the better of her. She slipped, and fell, engulfed by a black pool of water.

It sent a shock into her, but it wasn’t deep, and Rey managed to scramble her way out. She huddled herself into a cold hunch, just trying to get her lungs to breathe calmly again… after a frigid few minutes, she managed to unfold herself… she noticed red staining her knees: her rough landing had skinned them.

Rey scooped up a handful of water to rinse away the blood, gritting her teeth, eyes clenched shut, at the sting of salt. She pressed her fingertips against her wounds, trying to rub away the pain… her mind skimmed back to something she’d had a quick read of, in one of the ancient Jedi writings Luke had showed her. And she thought of the Force flowing through her body, as strong as her life.

The pain lifted… Rey couldn’t quite believe this. But it was real, the wounds were gone, almost as if they’d never been there.

She dug deep, finding enough will to pull herself to her feet, and she had a look around at what she’d landed in.

Squinting into the cavern, Rey wasn’t surrounded by dull rock anymore… but shiny minerals. Walls of lumpy crystal stained by smoke. Even though the water was black, it shone like the purest glass, white sunlight glinting like shatters.

The darkness swirled, deep charcoal and silky blacks, misty purples. Darkest blue like that of a flawless night sky. Greens so dark and rich beyond what she thought could exist, growing up in a desert… shadows bleeding into each other. Walls closing in on her, glassy and hard, yet soft and fluid… the ghosts were whispering to her again. Hypnotic, seductive.

_What are you doing here, girl?_

Through the pieces, she saw blotches of herself, silvery reflections fading in and out, descending far beyond her reach, into the shining wall…

_You think you’re here to find answers?_

The voices were so gentle, and she couldn’t respond.

_Your past is long gone, girl. You won’t find it here. The war came for you, and you must take up your place, as the greatest warriors have done so before you… even the mightiest and most formidable once stood where you stand now._

Every time Rey tried to focus on one fragment, one silhouette, it melted away.

_Take your place, girl. The light of the Force will be renewed in you, in your strength and your valour, your purity and your conviction._

_Unless you let the dark side in… you fall to the temptation… and balance is lost._

Her reflection split before her, and again, over and over until dozens of pale luminous blurs of her were floating around her, sinking deep into the mirrors.

_And dismiss all your longing for your parents. You were not sent on this journey to turn backwards. You must go onwards._

_You are you. Do not let any others decide what you are, when they do not even know you. Your childhood taught you two things: to wait, and to fix broken things. You have never been shy to learn quickly… the Force will guide you._

It took Rey’s breath away, leaving her completely lost, even to react at all. The sheer immensity of the presence here… she felt so small, so meek and powerless, before the Force, and the uncountable spirits, light and dark, that dwelt on this tiny island.

She dropped to her knees at the foot of the mirror, succumbing to the weight of the Force, a chill in her chest and tears on her cheeks. Her fear of being alone, became grief in the acceptance that she was alone.

“I should’ve felt trapped or panicked. But I didn’t… I thought I’d find answers here. I was wrong.” Rey murmured half to herself, wrapped in a blanket before a fire in her stone hut. The cold from the pool and the cavern had seeped into her as the night came down.

“I’ve never felt so alone…”  
  


“You’re not alone.”

There he was.

Though Kylo’s face was as young as hers, his deep brown eyes carried the burden of far more years than he’d lived. That long pale face, barely touched by sunlight, that had quietly haunted her ever since they first locked eyes in the interrogation chamber… he’d been in the backdrop of her journey ever since, as she’d heard perspectives of his part of the story, from the people who’d begun to teach her.

Alas, when Kylo told her his version, she had to realise that the bitter severance he felt came from a place of suffering. His heedless anger was a mask itself. She was getting glimpses of a vulnerable side to him that he’d never let anyone else see. Their bond was growing, oh so slowly…

“Neither are you. It isn’t too late.”

His brow furrowed. He hadn’t exactly expected this.

The light from the fire ran softly along his face, his arms, his hair. Crouched down opposite her, he’d never before looked so solid. She wondered if he was casting a shadow - but she didn’t want to look away from those eyes.

“I know that Darth Vader was created by the Jedi - and a Jedi saved him as well. There was still light in him, still conflict. He could turn. And he did.”

Her face was filled with beseeching. “There’s still light in you as well. I can feel it.”

 _Please, come back to the light…_ for reasons she wasn’t quite sure of, she pulled her hand out from the blanket and, tremulously, held it out towards him.

Kylo was silent, but his face wore a strange mix of emotions, confused and mournful, curious and hungry… soft in the twilight yet deeply intense, as he always was… and he pulled off one glove and slowly reached his hand towards her…

And for no longer than a heartbeat, across lightyears, they felt the soft solid weight of each other’s flesh…

And besides that, the profound loneliness they both shared…

It hit Rey with an incredible burst of energy, like touching a live wire or an open flame - images of her and him, seemingly confronting some unknown evil together, flashed before her -

“ _Stop!!_ ”

The stone walls crashed away, and Rey was met with Luke, furious as the storm breaking out above the island.

Looking across the fire as it fizzled away in the rain, Rey saw Kylo had disappeared.

Anger bubbling up, Rey stood up and snapped “is it true? Did you try to murder him?!”

“Leave this island! _Now!_ ”

Rain pelted her face in a thousand freezing kisses, and she began trembling, flinging off her blanket and reaching for her staff.

“Stop!!”

Luke couldn’t stomp off fast enough to escape her - so instead he grabbed a long metallic structure from the roof of a hut to defend himself… until Rey took up the lightsaber.

Then he had to submit.

“You failed him by thinking his choice was made. It wasn't! There's still conflict in him. I could see it. If he could turn from the dark side, that could shift the tide! This could be how we win!”

“This is not going to go the way you think.”

“It is! Just now, when we touched hands, I saw his future. As solid as I'm seeing you. If I go to him, Ben Solo _will_ turn.” She was so forthright, Luke couldn’t find the heart to argue with her - but still he insistently refused to return with her to the Resistance.

Within minutes, the _Millennium Falcon_ was ascending into the storm, and out of Ahch-To’s atmosphere, into the stars.

Closing in on the colossal winged leviathan of the _Supremacy_ , Rey tucked herself into an escape pod, which sailed gently aboard the cruiser as the _Falcon_ sped into hyperspace again… for a long moment, she was quite alone beneath the shell of her pod, with a profound sense of dread…

Kylo’s looming expectant face, very much in the flesh, was the first thing she saw when the lid lifted off - followed by a Stormtrooper with handcuffs.

However, the dark warrior confiscated her lightsaber himself and took Rey into the heart of the ship alone. Taking her to the one person he answered to, so perhaps she’d see for herself what he had to deal with… the elevator had a confinement that almost mimicked her pod, yet the air felt charged a thousand fold, with heavy cuffs crushing her wrists, sharing the small space with her haunting adversary.

“You don’t have to do this… I can sense the conflict in you, it’s tearing you apart.”

Her voice was so calm, almost soothing. “Ben?”

Hearing her say his birth name, the name he’d buried and tried to forget, Kylo at last let himself make eye contact.

“I saw your future. Just a shape of it, but solid and clear… you won’t bow before Snoke… you’ll turn. _I’ll help you_.”

“I saw something too. I know that when the moment comes, you’ll be the one to turn. You’ll stand with me. And, Rey… I saw who your parents were.” He kept his voice as soft as hers. Her eyes widened with a touch of disbelief.

“Rey, we both know what it’s like to be alone, lost, unable to trust anyone. I don’t know why we’ve been joined together, but… there must be good reason.”

Her name in his voice, out loud, had a tenderness that surprised them both.

“The Force needs to be balanced, doesn’t it…”

“You’re right, and we belong together. We’ve both been told someone’s interpretation of the Force, not what it really is. Don’t you see? We don’t have to distrust each other anymore. We can’t depend on old heroes. They’re all gone. All we have is each other. Rey… I’ll never lie to you. I saw you beside me, when I reached for you… I’ll tell you about your parents if you want. Just stand with me.”

Rey eyed him warily; she was mixed into all the graceless confusion in him. With just a little hesitation, he stroked her hair with leatherbound fingers, almost with affection.

“Please. I need you to stand with me.”

She stepped away from his reach, shying the fervent shadow in those eyes, locked on her.

Robed in silken gold and throned on gleaming black, to Rey’s eyes the Supreme Leader seemed a living breathing assemblage of centuries of dark power. Maybe he hadn’t even been born like living creatures are meant to be - instead, maybe the dark side had stitched his ugly visage together. The curving walls were a flawless bloody scarlet, and Praetorian bodyguards in red uniforms to match flanked each side. Within his swollen, puckered face, cunning pale eyes peered greedily at her, as Kylo pushed her into his throne room.

“Come closer, child. So much strength… darkness rises, and light to meet it. I warned my young apprentice that as he grew stronger, his equal in the light would rise.”

Kylo dutifully dropped to his knees; Rey just stood in silent, solid defiance. The Force in Snoke’s gnarled hand, Luke’s lightsaber flew out of Kylo’s grip and settled on the throne’s armrest.

“Skywalker... I assumed. Wrongly. ‘Closer’, I said.”

“You underestimate Skywalker, and Ben Solo, and me. It will be your downfall.” Rey was nothing if not brave. Even as Snoke loosed her cuffs and pulled her towards him.

“Oh? Have you seen something? A weakness - in my apprentice… is that why you came? Young fool… you see, it was _I_ who bridged your minds. I stoked Ren's conflicted soul, I knew he was not strong enough to hide it from you, and you were not wise enough to resist the bait. And now… you will give me Skywalker. Then… I will kill you with the cruellest stroke.”

“ _No._ ”

“Yes.”

Snoke hurled her into the air, suspending her in his steadily tightening grip. “ _Give… me… everything._ ”

Rey howled in agony, but funnelled all her will into defending herself… ultimately failing. Her memories reaped, Snoke let her drop, laughing at her.

“I did not expect Skywalker to be so wise! We will give him and the Jedi Order the death he desires. After the rebels are gone, we will go to his planet and obliterate the entire island.”

Before Kylo could react - Rey had plucked his own lightsaber off him, and was pointing the serrated scarlet blade towards the throne. The bodyguards brandished their own weapons in unison towards her in answer.

“Oh, still that fiery spit of hope! You have the spirit of a _true_ Jedi! …and because of that… you must die.”

Snoke ripped her off the floor, and pushed her towards Kylo - who wore a priceless expression of unease. It didn’t lift even as he took back his weapon.

“My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader. Where there was conflict, I now sense resolve, where there was weakness, strength. Complete your training, and fulfil your destiny!”

“I know what I have to do.” Behind his back, his free hand had beckoned the Force to carefully turn Luke’s lightsaber…

“Ben…” Rey was helpless, but steadfast even completely at his mercy.

Snoke gleefully sneered at her. “You think you can turn him? Pathetic child, I cannot be betrayed. I cannot be beaten. I see his mind, I see his every intent. Yes… I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true! And now, foolish child, he ignites it… and _kills his true enemy!!_ ”

And with a flick of his fingers, he proved just what mattered to him in this war.

The blue sword slid neatly through Snoke at the waist, slicing away his life, and sailing into Rey’s hand.

For a split second, she was speechless. To think, he was being a figurehead of tyranny simply out of spite…

But now was no time to process this. The circle of Praetorian bodyguards had drawn weapons and were closing in… she took position back-to-back with Kylo, ready to defend each other…

She was fast, and he was strong, a true balance. Their bond shone with passion, and as graceful as dance, as they tore into the guardsmen.

One guard lashed at Rey’s face, forcing her to throw her body backwards, lightsaber aloft… for a moment she nearly overbalanced - but Kylo was crouched behind her dispatching another guard, his back a surface upon which she gave herself leverage - her free hand found his thigh, and she steadied herself -

Kylo ripped one guard’s head completely off, and hurled it towards another - it collided into the red wall, dousing it with fire -

Rey could twist her way away from lance and spear and dagger, sparks flying - she fought like the rugged little streetfighter she’d always been, unafraid of heavy, arrogant opponents -

The guards managed to get them separated across the throne room, anticipating them to become easier to kill - Rey spun her blue sword around in a feisty flourish, completely unfazed and fiercer than she’d been for ages…

With his red sword held level to his face, Kylo cast eyes across to Rey, just to see if she needed help -

A guard had her by the shoulders, her arm sticking out awkwardly - she let go of the lightsaber, and ducked out of her assailant’s grip - catching the weapon and spinning into a death stab -

The last two guards had Kylo between them, his lightsaber caught on the jags of a long blade - he had to let go to jump backwards -

Fire was spreading across the walls; clumps of burnt material began to drop…

“ _Ben!_ ” Rey didn’t hesitate, seeing Kylo caught in a headlock - she threw her lightsaber to him, and the blue blade burst its way through the red helmet behind… and Kylo shrugged off the big limp hulk of scarlet armour.  
  


Deep breaths…

Sweaty and dishevelled and breathless with relief, Kylo and Rey stood amongst the bodies of guardsmen, lumps of burning furnishings scattered about… and Snoke’s bisected corpse slumped at the foot of the throne.

Rey sprinted to the oculus, and gawped at the sight - First Order ships opening fire on a flock of little rebel transports.

Kylo ignored her yelp for him to call off the attack; he just stared flatly at the conquered Supreme Leader.

“It's time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi, the rebels… let it all die. Rey… I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy!” He stepped towards her, unkempt yet undaunted, golden embers in his eyes.

“Don't do this, Ben. Please, don't go this way.”

“No… _no!_ You’re still _holding on! - let go!_ Forget it all! We can tear down everything the world knows, about the Force, show them the truth.”

“The truth? You think anyone will believe you?”

“Not me, Rey. Us. I can’t do it without you, and you can’t without me. The dark side has such power, we must embrace it. And we can do anything we want, with the Force balanced between us.”

“No, Ben. I can’t join you.” Rey’s voice grew thick, which irked him even more.

“Join me? - there is no _side!_ The light, the dark, it’s the same Force, that’s all that matters! We’ll never be free if we keep _doing this!_ ”

Rey hiccuped, feeling tears coming. “I don’t want to be free… I just want to belong…”

Kylo faltered for a moment. His tone calmed. “It’s war, Rey. If you have power, you’ve got to make a stand. Do you want to know the truth about your parents? Or have you always known? And you've just hidden it away… you know the truth. Say it.”

Tears leaked down Rey’s cheeks.

“Say it.”

“They were nobody.”

“They were filthy junk traders, who sold you off for drinking money. They're dead in a pauper's grave in the Jakku desert. You have no place in their story, you come from nothing. You're nothing… but not to me. Join me… _please…_ ”

Staring at his outstretched hand, she knew he wasn’t lying. She had zero defence against him whenever he wanted to rummage through her head. He’d seen her dreams, the skies of foreign worlds, the speeder abandoning her to a worthless, harsh life…

And now he wanted her? In a way, it made perfect sense, when they’d been crashed together by forces far greater than they could imagine. His wilfulness combined with her grace would make something incredible to behold…

_If I join him like this, I won’t save him. All I’ll do is collapse, as the darkness swallows me whole._ It shattered Rey. He frightened her when she first saw him, when he first had his way with her against her will. She’d beaten him at his own game, but hoped she could make a real difference if she willingly let him in. But she was wrong.

And if anything could help, it would be what she’d always done: defend herself.

But Kylo still had her lightsaber - _give it back!_

Kylo couldn’t do it. He could consume all the anger in the universe and it wouldn’t be enough to make him think of harming her now - or letting her have any means to harm him.

Luke’s lightsaber hovered between their outstretched arms, suspended by pure tension -

Getting stronger, and stronger -

The walls of the cruiser, even the very air trembled, feeling as heavy as rock -

Both of them cried out in unbearable stress, yet neither of them moved -

Perfect reflections of one another, the Force pushed open the space between them…

Pulling harder…

The carapace of the lightsaber cracked open, guts and crystal spilling out -

The enormous dynamo of charged force burst around them, and they both passed out.


	4. Beauty and beast

Rey was the first to wake up, by a miracle. Without hesitation she pocketed the ragged pieces of the lightsaber, and then, took a moment to consider Kylo, in an unconscious heap on the floor. His almighty struggle between the light and the dark was his to fight alone, and she couldn’t give herself up to save him. But if he was her enemy, what kind of enemy was he?

She could take a Praetorian weapon to his neck while he was still down. End him here and now, and expedite the end of the war.

And she knew she never could. His life was not hers to end. He was part of her now, knotted soul-to-soul to her with a powerful band of energy, forged in an unprecedented torrent in the Force, that they couldn’t break no matter what either of them did or how far they stretched it. They were perfect reflections of each other, and neither of them would compromise. Together, they were a fixed point around which light and darkness revolved. To sever their bond, if she even could, would mean ripping away a whole half of her soul. More than that… he was somebody’s baby. He was a son, a nephew, loved and missed. She certainly wasn’t the first to cry over him - somewhere, his surviving family were silently grieving what they had lost, lamenting what they might’ve done to drive him to it.

A swell of sadness caught Rey for a moment. The seemingly hopeless battle between good and evil and control and freedom claims so many innocent people. If only she didn’t have to be part of all this… but now she knew how fragile the myth of the hero is. If she had nothing else, she still had hope, which she had to share out. Right now, she was weary of hand-to-hand fighting, the _Supremacy_ was trembling around her, and the stragglers of the Resistance were needing her help. She had to go.

Calling for Chewbacca on the _Falcon_ , Rey made her fast way off the cruiser, and powered down to the rebel base on Crait.  
  


Unsurprisingly, furious from again failing to beat her or turn her, Kylo had elbowed his way to command the assault on the old mine, but his vicious temper was taking over. Rey could imagine him impatiently barking orders to send every TIE fighter after the _Falcon_ the moment he saw the ship the horizon…

What happened next, though, she was powerless to predict, much less act on…

Luke’s presence had followed her to this planet. He spent a moment passing through the base, surely taking a moment to be with his sister and her brave survivors… before stepping out onto the salt flats, to confront his long-lost student and his sister’s son… and in his unhinged rage, Kylo would want to finish him off himself.

Luke was buying them time.

Once all the TIE fighters had been dispatched, Rey and Chewbacca circled the _Falcon_ around, peering as far as they could across the caverns, red crusts like bloodstains on the white fields of salt, minerals poking through cracks in the rock, glinting like sly eyes in the sun.

Out of nowhere, came a recent memory tugging at her reach in the Force… _you’re not doing this, the effort would kill you._

Following Luke’s presence, was enormous exertion to the point of pain. This was his plan: to push through into the Force and send a projection of himself all the way here. Engage Kylo to unleash all the temper he wanted on him, and thus, make his final stand in their very personal grudge. A student wronged by his teacher, returning for revenge, and getting closure instead.

And suddenly, a flock of startled animals came scurrying from a mine entrance. Fleeing the chaos of battle. The _Falcon_ lowered on the level ground, and Rey made light work of the heap of rocks before her, opening a big enough gap for people. Finn was the first out, crashing into her with a ferociously grateful hug. The Resistance had fought so valiantly, in the face of unbelievable odds. And now, they were down to several dozen. Enough for everyone to fit aboard the _Falcon_ comfortably. And… the strain in the Force gave away, as suddenly as anything… and Luke’s life was taken along with it. But it wasn’t with pain and indignity, but selflessness, peace and purpose. Rey realised, even though he was gone, his spirit would be with them forever. This was his final mission, and he was ready to rest now it was completed.

At the ship’s door, Rey cast her gaze towards the caverns once more, and Kylo was there - a mess of passionate rage and crushing misery as palpable as the hot crackling of his lightsaber - his wounds all rubbed with salt, in more ways than one.

She stared flatly at him, giving him nothing in response. _We’ll live to fight another day, Ben Solo. You just might survive this._

Months skulked past. Word began to spread of the devastation of the Republic, and the attempts to demobilise the First Order. And despite their forces being shattered, the Rebellion was being reborn. A rash of war was spreading across the galaxy, and not even the wisest minds could tell how the tide would turn, as the aftermath of this first conflict rippled outwards. And people were at last answering the call to join the fight… a fight that began decades ago… and tough lessons hadn’t yet been learned. Even after the destruction of literal planets full of uncountable innocent millions…

A mother haunted by her lost son stood amongst the chaos…

For as long as she could remember, Leia’s place seemed to have always been in the shadow of war, even through her adopted parents’ best efforts to keep her safe. From somewhere in the Skywalker lineage, Leia had inherited a profound desire to never sit back and watch horrors happen, not when she could do something… this sense of duty was the most important thing a leader could possess, she learned. When a leader has millions depending on them to do right by them, the leader must set the pace, set the example, for better or for worse. A leader must earn respect, and be trusted always. Compounding this, her blood carried a burden: as the daughter of a mighty Force user of legend, powerful both in light and dark, she was aware that any children she’d have might be touched by it. The way Force sensitivity runs in families is deeply mysterious, it cunningly appears and disappears seemingly out of its own intent like a ghost. Leia knew what the girl was going through, how she was facing impossibly huge mysteries, as the Force had begun to stir in her…

Leia was not just royalty and a senior figure of military leadership; she was a mother. Still a mother even when her son had committed appalling acts of destruction, her instinct to nurture her child comfortably strong enough to challenge her other yearnings. The effects of her son’s actions and intentions would ultimately always return to her, as long as she still lived. And she _wanted_ to be there.

Love is a weapon that keeps you fighting to the end. It’s vital despite how much it hurts… she didn’t even know what he looked like, after she’d sent him away all those years ago… sometimes, in meditation, she wondered just _why_ there seemed to be no end to the war in sight… she wondered what had to be done to truly restore peace and balance.

 _Mothers always know guilt_ , she thought. It’s the painful discrepancy between a child’s lack of knowledge of life, and the little knowledge that his mother hopes with all her heart is right, and worth her child knowing. Ben wasn’t born to be a monster - but his shadow was very much part of him, and trying to banish the wildness in him was never a wise thing to do. It would come slinking back one day, looking to satisfy its hunger.

Alas, even after having all that anger and alienation projected on her, and Han, and Luke, directly or indirectly… this tough, sun-baked girl, a calm centre in the storm, had gotten a chance to empathise with him. He’d been so honest with her, she’d been sent into disarray… and she stopped fighting him for a precious moment. She rose to the challenge when the universe called for her. She wasn’t in this fight to pursue more power… and she might help him piece himself back together. Even though it would be harder than ever now.

And so, Leia didn’t hesitate to take Rey under her wing. The girl wanted and needed nurturing, and a good teacher, and they both shared their mission now.

Ajan Kloss, sweeping cliffs cloaked with pristine lush forests, became the latest rebel hideaway. While the survivors took the opportunity to rest and recuperate, Rey sought out quiet places, around the base, under the shade of dense foliage, in lonely corners beside cliffs. Places she could be alone with her thoughts, and try to let the torrent of destiny sink in. She needed it, in between hearing updates of the conflict, or Leia drilling her on what she was learning, or the intricate job of fixing Luke’s shattered lightsaber (she’d pinched the ancient books when she left Ahch-To)…

It had all happened so quickly, Rey thought. More than anything else, she wondered, _why her?_ She wasn’t special. Kylo was sure of that, at least.

Shutting him out wasn’t what she wanted to do. But she didn’t feel she had much choice, while she had battles to train for, and she was still trying to understand it all. It hurt to think that they’d both been used by Snoke, tricked into a state of empathy, so their power could be reaped. It dented her trust in the gift the Force had given her. But… Snoke was dead, and they still had their bond, humming between them. As small as that victory was, it gave her a little more confidence, to gently reach for him from her side. All the while, assuring herself that she had no real reason to be afraid of him anymore. She’d had just a taste of how it felt to not be alone, and she wasn’t going to give it up… one early evening she thought she’d give it a try, aiming for a moment when he wasn’t stressed by anything, wasn’t likely to lash out.

Through the cool shadows, deep in the tight corridors of a Star Destroyer, her eyes met a curled-up heap of blankets in a narrow bunk, and a mop of black hair. He was sleeping facing away from her, which encouraged her… all she wanted was for him to feel calmness with her presence. Not to disturb him, just make sure that he knew she wanted to make peace.

Minutes crawled past like hours, as Rey sat beside his bed, as if she was guarding him from nightmares…

But then, the spell broke. In his quarters, the monitor on the wall behind where Rey’s silhouette was, started buzzing. It only would at this time when there was an urgent matter needing his attention - but Rey wasn’t to know that. All she got was him stuffing his head under the covers, groaning at the thought of getting up and facing the world again, beyond what he’d already had to handle.

It tore a big strip off Rey’s heart. “Ben?”

As she did before on Ahch-To, without thinking herself out of it, again she reached for him… her fingertips rested against his broad back, her touch as light as falling rain.

“Ben, it’s okay… I’m here…”

But to her terror, Kylo plucked up his lightsaber, the crackling red blade flashing in her direction - her hands shot upwards to protect herself - _Ben, stop!_ -

and she didn’t get a chance to see his eyes, as it was too late, and the connection had closed off.

“Rey…?”

Somehow he knew it wasn’t his tired imagination playing a trick. It was really her, pushing through the dyad. _Oh no._

It had been so much easier when she’d been quiet. Part of him wanted her to disappear, letting him shut himself in his misery, feral and unstable and dangerous at the spearhead of the First Order’s assault across the stars… but she was solid proof that the place he’d found himself in was dooming him. She was a solitary bright anchor in a dark, unmarked wilderness full of his imagined monsters, reminding him how far away he was casting himself.

The lightsaber rested harmlessly on the bedcover beside his tense fist, his mouth pressed into a tight line of silent stupor. Silence that came from real guilt, unable to find any excuse.

It took Rey a day or two to shake off the heartache that night had struck her with… but once it had gone, her inner peace was waiting for her to return. She’d learnt from Luke, that failure is a difficult reality even the greatest of us have to deal with, but it’s not an excuse to stop trying. When she tried to reach him again, she had daylight above her, to give her spirit a little more strength.

“Leia’s been teaching me, making sure I don’t stop what Luke got me started on… I still don’t want to fight you, but someone needs to defeat the dark side. If you won’t, then who will? …do you want to hear me? Or do you not care?”

To her surprise, Rey didn’t see his face, but the mask again - the black shell cracked with red. Veins filled with fire. The ghosts he was chasing weren’t out there in interstellar battlefields - they were in his head, and in his blood. He couldn’t keep control as well as he thought he could, so he’d attempted to lacquer his character of intimidation back together - notwithstanding the fact that the ominous image overcompensated for his power, which was uncomfortably volatile. Far too reckless to be a calm, detached, calculating figure of command. Rey certainly knew only too well what was under the brittle armour. She proved herself right when she said he didn’t scare her anymore, but for a moment, she worried she was never going to see his face again.

_He knows he can’t escape everything that’s happened because of him. I suppose he’ll try any means he can to shut it all out. But too many people have died because he can’t stop this… he’ll lose himself forever under there. And I can’t save him… but I must keep showing him the light. I can’t give up on him now._

“He’ll suffocate under that mask. The darkness is ruining him…” Rey sighed, thinking nobody else was listening. She was sat on the floor behind a stack of equipment, hopefully away from prying eyes. A dull darkness had fogged up his half of their bond, and it hurt to reach into it from her side.

But she was startled by Leia in the corner of her eye, quietly, curiously watching her. “Oh - I’m sorry! I didn’t see you there - ”

“It’s alright.”

Rey folded her arms and legs up, self-conscious. “I know I remind you of what he’s turning into. I can’t save him. I’ve tried, and I can’t.”

Leia leant herself on the stack behind her, resting a comforting hand on Rey’s shoulder. She tried to give the girl privacy whenever she was communing with Kylo - but sometimes her mother’s yearnings were just too strong. “It’s not your fault, honey. He made the same mistake his grandfather did: using the Force for his own selfish reasons. The Force is bigger than all of us, as you know. And you gotta be humble. Understand that you have to be worthy of the gifts it will give you.”

“I know. The Force doesn’t belong to anyone. The Force reaches to people, and those people become its instruments. It’s the will of the cosmos itself.”

“I don’t blame him. For what happened. I’ve seen what the dark side can do to people. But I know he has to deal with the consequences. That’s the only way he can come back now.”

“You think he _can_ come back? Even now…?”

Leia gave a quiet, knowing smile. “Forgiveness is not about what you deserve. It’s about what you choose to do when you have the chance.”

Deep down, Rey hoped Leia’s son still had a chance. He still had a long, hard road back home ahead of him, but he wasn’t lost forever, surely…

Leadership amongst the rebel forces had grown thin, and so a newly-appointed General Dameron had given Rey a few brusque words about how she was the best fighter they had, and she mustn’t be doing any training when they needed her on the front lines.

Bless him - he certainly had the dauntless character to learn quickly. Rey spied him readying for a mission to receive some new, and seriously terrifying intelligence on their enemies. A rumour of a formidable evil that fell decades ago, and was ready to emerge from the shadows, promising vengeance…

“I’m proud of you, Rey. I’m proud of all of you, even him, X-Wing bronco over there… when you become a leader, you gotta learn to see the world from the perspective of everyone below you. Poe used to think being a leader was about doing big crazy spectacular things, which is how the brain of a fighter pilot would operate. Big explosions and heroic sacrifices. Yes, they work, but it’s a leader’s job to not be reckless and make sure it doesn’t end up getting to that. I’m relying on him to have learned how to lead properly.”

However, for this mission, Poe was taking the _Falcon_ \- Chewie and Finn were coming with him. He’d promised to take good care of Han’s pride and joy, and secretly appreciated some moral support, following his unexpected promotion.

The foreboding message from the unfathomable depths of oblivion, threatening to throw the sway of war off trajectory, was received wholeheartedly by just one in the First Order, and that was the Supreme Leader. He who hungered for enemies to slay himself, he who thuggishly contradicted the discipline that the Order had enshrined above all else.

Nevertheless, he wasn’t so valuable to the battle that he wasn’t allowed to take his wild flight to ancient Sith strongholds, looking for clues to navigate the Unknown Regions from which the mysterious transmission came. Landing on one of Mustafar’s few habitable areas, the black, rugged remains of keeps lay shrouded in sparse brush of Corvax Fen - the barbarians lurking in this noxious swamp were easy prey for Kylo, in his hands his blade and crossguard matching the fiery red of the distant volcanic surroundings.

Above, General Hux frowned despondently through the observation windows in the hull of the shuttle. “ _He’s gone mad…_ flames of rebellion burn across the galaxy, and Ren chases a ghost…”

Allegiant General Pryde disagreed, cool and resolute, beside him. “Someone was behind that transmission. Someone who will provide the perfect ammunition to subdue whoever might defy us through fear. To underestimate the strength of fear is foolish. And Leader Ren will answer to no one.”

At last, the final colonist was killed. Kylo strode off alone, an elegant, defiant black flame on a field of dull white ash. Blood spattered the pale earth and laced the mist rising around him for miles, the air heavy with the perfumes of ozone and smoke and death. Gaunt trees matched his black garb, stunted and sickly, yet surviving. Surviving as Darth Vader himself once carved out a shelter here, a generation ago. He felt a begrudging admiration for this place, and the extremophiles that held down their life here - this was the place he kept his treasures, his secrets. Even decades after his death, his presence was obsessed over and guarded by cultists - that Kylo had just conquered, leaving the talisman ready for him to collect.

A grey square slab, heavy in the soft ash, caught Kylo’s eye. In its centre, the inheritance from his grandfather - what once belonged to Vader, now was his own.

It tucked comfortably into his gloved hand, fragile and heavy and hot as a piece of meteoroid. A pyramid of dark greenish-gold glass, framed and edged with blacked metal, etched all over with alien symbols, a reddish gas-jet glowing within.

Through the glass, cracks almost too tiny to see were scattered - no, not cracks. Stars.

This was a map - unlike any used by anyone on either side of the war.

Kylo was reluctant to trust what he was looking at. But if he didn’t take it off this planet with him, someone would eventually come and collect it instead of him, and answer the call…

_At last the work of generations is complete. The great error is corrected, the day of victory is at hand. The day of revenge. The day of the Sith._

Never would he let anyone challenge him. Not after all the bloodshed and horrors and sacrifices, to claim the power, and the summit of the legions as he had done…

But he made the decision himself to follow the message, and so the journey was his to take alone.Time was too precious to waste. Dismissing everyone awaiting him in orbit, he took his prize aboard his interceptor, and connected it into the navigation port, carefully studying the coordinates it produced.

As Kylo made his hyperspace jump, the interface blared warnings that got bluntly ignored - no way would anything make him turn back. He met the maelstrom before him with determination to rival its ferocity.

This place was Uncharted, and for good reason. Fluxes, storms, debris from dying stars, all convalescing into a monstrous chaos of swirling, matted inorganic material. So big, that when he’d completed his jump, the edges of the maelstrom were far beyond his field of vision. He was far off the map now…

Only with the wayfinder could Kylo have a real hope of tracing a path through it. He’d heard ghost stories of such a place as this, beyond the Reaches out west… places where criminals, fugitives, even loyal stragglers of Imperial rule disappeared. And anyone would have to be crazy, or with suicidal desperation to come here of their own will. But this was not eternal damnation - this place was real, it’s name was Exegol. A concealed bastion most precious to the Sith.

Through the cosmic tempest, Kylo laid eyes on something resembling a solid piece of rock, swathed in vast storm systems. The one possible place he could land.

The atmosphere seemed so thick, no light could penetrate to the surface - if there was anything resembling a living sun in this system. The sky was black beyond midnight, but thick branches of lightning coursed through, striking light ahead of him. But not a single drop of liquid rain fell in this cloudburst…

Lightsaber blazing, Kylo marched over the stony plaza, towards the low entrance of a flat-roofed fort, hunkered down to defend its inhabitants from the storms. He descended, into the fortress stretching deep into the ground, footsteps echoing even against the thunder outside.

“ _At last_. The successor to the Sith has arrived, and Snoke trained you well.”

The _voice_ … it shook the walls like an earthquake… but Kylo had no fear of it.

“I killed Snoke. I'll kill _you_.”

“My boy… I _made_ Snoke. I have been every voice… you have ever heard… inside your head.”

_What?_ The evil voices, the ghosts that slyly infected every chapter of Kylo’s young life, stealing an innocent boy and reshaping him into a vengeful, pitiless, tempestuous creature… they came from here.

“Who are you?!”

“One who has waited long to fulfil the potential of the dark side… long before you were born, Darth Plagueis sought the secrets to cheat death itself, through the influence of darkness. His tragedy became myth, but his apprentice yearned to accomplish what he dreamed of doing... but I could not discover the secret alone. Until your grandfather, Lord Vader, pledged himself to me… and together, we destroyed the Jedi, and ruled the galaxy in accordance with the true nature of the Force… I brought peace, and subservience, and stability… and now the Jedi come again, so too shall I. And I knew my apprentice would not be long in answering my call.”

Kylo descended further, and began to see what lurked beneath the stony panoply of Exegol. He found himself staring in amazed disgust at vast canisters hanging from above, containing mutated, deformed clones of Snoke…

“The First Order was just the beginning. I will give you so much more.”

It was true: Kylo watched the bastion open itself up to him. Rank upon rank of weapons and warships of true Sith design, an arsenal to bring the galaxy to perfect submission - or reduce it all to ashes and dead stars.

“You'll die first.”

“My boy, I have died before. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be… _unnatural_.”

And here, at the centre of the armoury, was the throne. Here, beneath a spotlight of pure electric rage, laden with cables and gears sustaining his life, the robed body of Darth Sidious stood.  
  


“What could _you_ give _me?_ ”

“A _new_ Empire. The might of the Final Order will soon be ready. It will all be yours if you do as I ask… find the girl and bring her to me. You shall pay me with her life, and my resurrection will be complete. Only then, will we end this infernal conflict. You shall become what your grandfather could not, you shall carry his legacy into the new Empire, that you will rule. But beware… she is not who you think she is.”

Kylo levelled his red blade with the pallid face before him. “ _Who is she?_ ”


	5. Deadlock

_I offered you my hand, why didn’t you take it?_

_You tried to kill me before, why didn’t you?_

Rey’s nerves were so tense, as the _Falcon_ hurtled across the golden dunes of Pasaana. She couldn’t let anything distract her from this one last, insane, inestimable charge of the Rebellion’s efforts: get to Exegol and vanquish the resurrected Darth Sidious and all his forces before they were ready to sweep across the stars. Time was terrifyingly short.

Under the stressed watch of Poe, Finn, and Chewbacca behind her, Rey scoured through Luke’s old scriptures, and discovered a page describing ancient Sith wayfinders, designed specifically to navigate the dangerous uncharted areas the Sith claimed as their own. Only two were ever crafted; one was reportedly guarded by Sith Eternal believers on Mustafar. The location of other was unknown.

The trail went cold with the last sighting of an assassin on Pasaana, who was seen carrying an archaic dagger engraved with an encoded message of the wayfinder’s location.

Several miles from settlements, a rusted wreck of a ship lay on the edge of dark quicksand pools. The crew split up to cover as much ground as possible quickly, Rey being the one courageous enough to search the caverns beneath the lattice of quicksand, her lightsaber throwing a beam of blue light.

Unfortunately, the tunnel she landed in was occupied. She’d dropped into the lair of a large sand wyrm. She stared eye-to-eye into a leathery face, pointed as a knife, with molten eyes and a fearsome mill of jagged teeth. But it didn’t try to strike at her, or make any such aggressive motions. The wyrm just held its head up over its coils, hissing a warning. Rey laid down her lightsaber, keeping all her movements as calm as she could. She could easily be crushed by that huge creamy column of muscles - but she noticed a bloody streak about halfway along. Rey felt a stirring of pity, and extended a gentle hand to it, slowly resting onto the wound, calling the Force to bind the torn flesh and skin back together, by passing some of her own living Force into its body.

It worked. The wyrm relaxed, flicking its forked tongue at her, before lowering itself down and sliding away down the cavern. Where it was laying, was a pile of very dusty-looking bones - this, combined with how abandoned the area was, aside from the ship… Rey had an inkling that this was the assassin she was here to find.

However, the wyrm hadn’t eaten his bones, so probably wouldn’t have tried to eat something metal. Rey followed the tunnel, until she noticed a pile of loose red rocks, sunlight poking through. But when she climbed through, she was met with a dismaying sight…

Poe and Finn were desperately tailing a transport of stormtroopers from the ground, trying to shoot it down - it could only mean that the First Order had spotted them on Pasaana. And evidently, Chewie had been caught - he’d been searched and he’d had the dagger on him, which resulted in him being pulled away.

Behind them, Kylo was keeping a step above his squad of troopers, letting them pursue the rebels’ desperate flight, which allowed him to keep his focus on Rey. Fleeing Pasaana, they sped for Kijimi, chasing their steadily decreasing supply of time, in the hope that they’d find someone who could translate the cipher… and their pursuers readied themselves for ambush again - he’d made it quite clear that he wanted Rey, alive, while his squad could do as they saw fit with her comrades.

Wary of the distance between them despite their bond - and heavily burdened with Palpatine’s staggering revelations about who she really was - Kylo knew he couldn’t barge into her brain like he did before. She could erect a thick wall up against him, if he didn’t approach her just right. He needed her.

Stormtroopers were clumsy and conspicuous in Kijimi’s narrow stone turrets and alleyways. Instead of joining them, Kylo stood guard beside a brazier on ground level, his cloak wrapping him in defence against the snowy dusk.

“Rey. Wherever you are, you are hard to find.”

“And you're hard to get rid of.”

She backed off when he stepped towards her. “I need to tell you something… I know the rest of your story. The Emperor told me about you, things even I didn’t know. What we both thought we knew, that was a lie, designed to keep you innocent.”

“ _You're_ lying!”

“I never lied to you. Your parents were no one - they chose to be, to keep you safe. You remember more than you say. I've been in your head, search your memories.”

“Shut up!”

“Remember them! See them! They sold you… to protect you.”

“Stop talking!!”

“Rey… I know what happened to them. Tell me where you are. You don't know the whole story. It was Palpatine who had your parents taken. He was looking for you. But they wouldn't say where you were. So he gave the order.”

The blue hilt shot towards him in raw terror, to meet a parry from the red blade. So deft, that both lightsabers hit something unexpectedly solid: a plinth, bearing Vader’s beaten helmet. The sight of the plinth cascading in a shower of shattered pieces, the helmet falling through them, shone through to Kylo for a few moments - more than mere sight. At Kylo’s feet, the helmet landed, with the hefty clank of metal on frost.

“So that's where you are. You know the Emperor has always wanted you. I'll come tell you.”

Rey and her comrades sneaking aboard the _Steadfast_ was not something Kylo anticipated at all - perhaps to retrieve the dagger (even though they’d noted down the inscription on it), or they hoped Chewie was there waiting for them to rescue him… but did that matter? Not to Kylo. Secretly, he was pleased to sense her presence on the ship. His private agenda dovetailed neatly with his outward one. But there was no way he could tell her through the dyad what the Emperor had told him…

_I must tell you myself. I want to see your eyes when you hear it._

A wild dash through the cruiser, and a few snarls of “ _where is she?!_ ” later, he found her in the hangar bay, alone, distraught. And when they laid eyes on each other… he saw anguish in her eyes he’d never thought he’d see.

“Why did the Emperor come for me? Why did he want to kill a child? Tell me.”

“Because he saw what you would become. Part of your parents’ intention in hiding was to cut themselves away from the Force - but they realised too late that they couldn’t keep you hidden forever. Not when they’d given you away. They gave themselves up for you. You don't just have power - you have _his_ power. Power that grew stronger the more you used it. And the stronger you got, the more desperate he was to find you… because you’re his granddaughter. You… are a Palpatine.”

The colour visibly drained from Rey’s face, to the point where Kylo wondered if she was about to faint.

“My mother was the daughter of Vader, your father was the son of the Emperor. But what he didn’t know is that we're a dyad in the Force, Rey. Two that are one. It’s always been there, silent between us. All that Snoke did was wake it up. He was never meant to use it for his own means. Even when I killed him, the Emperor still wanted to find a way to control my power. Our power. But we will never let him touch us. Rey… we’ll kill the Emperor, together, and take the throne.”

She was mute with incredulity… her instincts screamed at her to turn and run, which was exactly what she did. Towards the _Falcon_ , poised to receive her, before launching off the cruiser and gone.

Destination: Kef Bir, in the Endor system.

Kylo could not let her slip away again.

The deciphered coda guided the _Falcon_ to land beside a crater, seawater flooding a sprawling bowl of green earth, churning against bright grey sky. Here was the final resting place of a great hunk of wreckage from the second Death Star - what looked huge was really a tiny piece of the whole station, but precious secrets needed to be hidden, even after the monumental destruction that war leads to. The _Falcon_ ’s crew got caught by the locals - no allies of the Order, but warning them against going out to the gulf, with a storm on the way… Rey refused to let that stop her. Sneaking away on a speeder over the waves, she climbed aboard the wreckage with her trusted excavating skills at the ready.

Kylo’s solitary interceptor circled around the gulf, and descended onto the opposite end of the wreckage. This time, there wasn’t a great chasm of space between her and him - the first time she truly saw his face in months… but the girl in white tabards, hair in three buns as she’d worn it all her life, was positively burning with outrage that he barely recognised. A girl who now knew what innocent hopes being torn to shreds felt like.

“You…”

With arrogant grace, he jumped down from the remains of the gantry he’d come towards her on, the impact of his weight dislodging what looked like a display crate, it’s fastenings ruined by years of the elements - Rey caught a glimpse of the glassy green glint of the wayfinder inside. Could he know it was there? Surely not. She glared up at him, crouched like a beast ready for a fight. He just stood, cold and tense and impassive as ice.

“Why did you even bother putting your mask back on?”

“You’re right, there’s no point wearing it when it’s just us. You can see through the cracks. We know too much about each other now.”

“People keep telling me they know me… I’m afraid no-one does.”

“But I do.”

“ _No you don’t!_ You’ve got evil voices in your head telling you what they want you to believe. If you’re so powerful, why don’t you decide for yourself what you should do?”

“That is low, even for a coarse little creature like you.”

“Well, I am the granddaughter of the Emperor, aren’t I?! And I was left alone my whole life on a junkyard planet to _keep me safe?_ Maybe I should’ve stayed there! If I’d known what would’ve happened if I got involved in this stupid war!”

 _The dark side lives in her - she could surrender to it if she chose._ “Well. If you want to stop fighting, then just stop.”

“ _I can’t!!_ He had my parents killed, I’ll kill him!”

In her heart, what she had that she could call a family, she’d found with Leia, and Finn, Poe, Chewie, and the rebels who wanted a better life for anyone who struggled anywhere in the galaxy, under a rule of iron… and Luke, so generous with his wisdom beneath his cynical, weathered shell, the Force as mighty as anything as it surrounded him... but they’d never felt so far away. Still crouched on all fours, Rey reached for the prize - Kylo gave her a light push, sending her off-balance, and leaving the wayfinder in a perfect place for him to take for himself.

“Look at yourself. You know you can’t run away. You can’t go back to her now. Like I can’t.”

“Give it to me!”

The wayfinder stayed tight in Kylo’s hand - he squeezed harder, until shards of glass crunched out from between his fingers. Rey answered with a furious wordless shriek, rising to her feet and charging towards him - purple sparks erupted between them as lightsaber blades collided…

Half a galaxy away, on the base on Ajan Kloss… R2D2 gave a string of melancholic beeps, punctuating the shadowed shelter, beside Leia as she lowered herself onto her bunk, resigned, silent.

Her strength was failing fast, but every cell in her sixty-year-old body called out to the cosmic Force, to funnel all the power she still had into her bond with her child. The petite orange silhouette of Maz Kanata almost glowed softly as she approached the silver-blue astromech droid.

“Leia knows what must be done, R2. To reach her son now, it will take all the strength she has left.”

Kylo was good as blind to his mother’s call. His temper scorched into his assault on Rey - and for the first time, she was level with him. Any compassion they once had for each other was all overtaken by brilliant, blinding anger, channeled into crackling hilts striking again and again… as once they fought stronger together, now the dyad trembled as they turned their weapons on each other.

Until the Force carried up the chill of Leia’s collapse through space, and Kylo felt the tremor in their bond hit him. Like a burst of intense mind-numbing cold swiping him out of focus… out of nowhere, he froze, gasping audibly, lightsaber slipping from his grasp. But Rey had no way of feeling it - for a lethal few seconds, sick of doing the right thing and coming off worse for it, she gave into her worst instincts - and pierced Kylo in the stomach with his own lightsaber, sinking the hilt deep.

Kylo didn’t cry out, or show any kind of reaction to a fatal injury, besides buckling to the ground, all six feet and three inches of him collapsing into a surprisingly small heap.

“ _Mother…_ ”

Rey’s jaw dropped. “What?”

“My mother… she’s dying.”

Kylo’s gasps for air grew louder and rougher, as he gave into the weakening of his power, readying himself for death to take him… while Rey shook, hands clasping her face in disbelief. _What have I just done?!_

This was the darkness living in her, what it could make her do. This was how the dark side thrived, offering terrible strength through selfish, reckless, destructive feelings and intentions. It promised death.

And Rey had always been a survivor. Her stubborn grip on life stayed strong through sheer will, until she knew no other way to live, than with hope in her heart. And once she’d joined the war, she found something to hope for, besides herself. She even glimpsed her greatest dream coming true: to have a beloved family to belong to.

But Rey had to learn to be careful what she wished for, as bonds can and do form with the most unlikely of people… she knelt down beside Kylo, and rested her hand against the sworl of blood and torn fabric… and when her hand lifted off, the torn flesh had closed, smoothed over with pink new skin sealing the puncture. He drew air in noisily, pain sloughing away. Rey looked him in the eye for a split second before turning away.

“Why… why did you do that?”

Rey stared at her hands, in a heap on her knees. “Leia wouldn’t want her son to die. Not like this.”

Kylo huffed, “she’s more your mother than mine now,” under his breath.

“Don’t be stupid!” She snapped back. “I have to do the right thing. I don’t care if that makes me a Jedi or not, all I know is that… you…”

“I what?”

She turned to him, frowning coldly. “I can’t forgive you, for all the innocent people you killed. But the Emperor was _using you._ Using you to get to me.”

“Get to you?”

“Why else would he tell you about me? About how he’s my grandfather?! No, Ben. He got you to do his dirty work. He fed off all the evil things you did, using you for your power. And once he’s got everything he could out of you, he’ll probably get started on me. He’ll destroy both of us, and take control of everything else.”

She sighed deeply, slumping beside him, nothing more she could do.

“I thought I could beat him, Ben. For a crazy moment - but I know I can’t now. I can’t fight anymore.”

Her hand reached up to rest on his shoulder. “I healed you because it was the right thing. I made a choice. You can too, to forgive yourself.”

Kylo felt his guilt bubble up, deep in his gut. “I can’t.”

“Yes you can. Your parents would. They’d cross the whole galaxy and tear apart all the stars and planets in their way for you. That’s how much they love you, even after everything you’ve done…”

Rey couldn’t beg him, and it wounded her deeply. “You have to forgive yourself. It’s your choice. Nobody can do it for you.”

She turned slightly away as she rose to her feet, so he couldn’t see the pain in her face.

“And I did want to take your hand. Not Kylo’s hand,”

He tried to get up after her, but his body felt like iron.

She faced him once more. “Ben’s hand.”

Watching Rey piloting his interceptor into the clouds, Ben felt that old temper try to flare up, and fail. As if the crashing of Kef Bir’s towering waves were extinguishing him, washing away what was left of what he wanted to be. His body ached horribly as he tried to pull himself up again; grimacing but sat upright, Ben rubbed the water from his eyes, and then just let the weight of his head rest in his hands. He couldn’t bear to admit it, but he knew he had to stop fighting everyone and everything. Including himself.

 _She’s right._ He had to stop letting the dark side twist him up. Yes, the incredible power could flow through him and bind the darkness in the Force into his destiny, untouchable and unbeatable, eclipsing even Lord Vader himself… but it couldn’t be worth it. Not when gaining that much power can reveal how evil people can be. Even if the old things died, the evil they unleashed would still be destroying everything in its way. Evil can’t just disappear on its own. If Ben wanted to renounce the dark side, he’d have to make the choice himself.

 _But do I have the strength to do it?!_ His head swung back, as if the answers might fall from the sky.

_I’ll have to. Even if I can’t do it, the galaxy will need strength. Somewhere out there… someone might believe in me. If only I could’ve told my parents that I’m sorry…_

After all, he felt Leia collapse, through the Force. He knew even after she died, she would be there forever, as he was for her. A mother’s love believes and hopes relentlessly, and in the end it doomed her. And his father… those last moments weren’t distorted at all. Han wouldn’t have hesitated to save his son, whatever it would have costed him. It was too late for them now. But not him. Perhaps Ben might get his mother to hear him, once he’d reclaimed the light… but not now. Not when he still had to cast away his self-hatred. No amount of regret and helpless hope could make that burden disappear.

His lightsaber was still beside him. Ignoring his soreness, Ben lifted it up and rose to his feet, and flung it across the gulf and into the sea with all the strength he could summon. He needed a ride off this planet, but that wouldn’t be difficult. He had to finish this, for his parents’ sake, as well as his own. _Sidious can tell me whatever he likes, I don’t care anymore. But I’ll show him he can’t force me to think or do whatever pleases him… I’ll find her, and we’ll free the galaxy from tyranny. And I’ll kill him - I’ll destroy any chance of life he’s still got, even if it’s the last thing I ever do._


	6. Penance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gulp* crunch time!

Rey bumped her way down onto an isolated pebble beach on Ahch-To, alone at last: to cry, to tend her wounds, to hide away forever… just as Luke had. She understood now - some burdens are just so unbearably, relentlessly heavy, maybe they’re not worth the effort in the end. Both parents, and teacher, had all sacrificed for the exact same reason: Ben Solo… and all their efforts and losses were worthless. Nobody could untangle that insufferable young man’s unruly connection with the Force, it was his choice, and the results were his responsibility. But where her part to play was concerned… Rey had to stop.

“What are you doing here?”

Even as a Force-ghost, Luke radiated steady cynicism. At least, he never expected to see her on this planet again.

“Master Skywalker?!”

“After all the trouble you took to get me to teach you, and now you’re giving up?”

“It all went wrong... I can’t believe what he told me - I can’t believe my whole life was a lie, and I lashed out, I... I nearly killed him! And... I saw myself on the dark throne - I won't let it happen. I'm never leaving this place. I'm going to do what you did.”

“Oh, Rey… it was fear that kept me here. Fear, and regret. I thought I should’ve never trained any more Jedi, that would bring the Sith back up from the pits of Hell and everything I, and Han, and Leia, and everyone had fought for would be for nothing. What I’d dreaded most in the world had happened, and I was responsible for it. But hiding myself away was wrong. Rey, what are you most afraid of?”

Her answer was a soft shudder. “Myself.”

“Because you're a Palpatine? Leia knew it, too.”

“You knew?”

Luke took a seat on a fallen tree nearby. “It’s not a stretch to think that the Emperor must have had a paramour, perhaps someone who just wanted to be in his aura. She wouldn’t have been the first. Love can be very scary. But if he had a child, that child would’ve certainly been in serious danger. The best way for his descendants to escape his evil would’ve been to get as far away from him as possible… and I had a feeling I’d know it was you when I saw you.”

“Neither of you told me? - and you still trained me.”

“Because of your spirit, your heart. Rey, some things are stronger than blood. Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi. Your destiny. Leia’s not trained in the ways of Jedi, but she’s very strong with the Force… but even her strength has a limit. You probably won’t want to hear it, but I’ve got some important stuff to tell you.”

Rey sat beside him. Her emotions were too worn out to care, so she’d have no problem listening to an important lesson from her master.

“My master taught me how my emotions could be my weakness. He did everything he could to keep me in the light, and concentrated on my training. But I had loved ones out there, fighting a war without me. I wanted to be with them, and I knew they needed me. And when it came to it, I disobeyed my orders, and eventually the fight brought me to my father. Darth Vader. I had to confront the darkness in me, the darkness that’s in all of us.”

“What happened? Did he try to kill you?”

“Far from it. He wanted to turn me, so we could overthrow the Emperor together.”

 _That sounds familiar._ “But… the Sith rely on their darkest passions for power. Once you start getting that kind of power, you keep wanting it. Until it destroys you.”

“You’re absolutely right. And I was tempted, but I managed to rise above it.”

“And you defeated Vader? You brought your father back?”

Luke pulled his right sleeve up, exposing the join between his prosthetic hand and the stump of his own arm. “At great cost, yes.”

Rey dropped her eyes, in sad respect.

“That same temptation was what got me to push Ben to embrace the dark side. When I should’ve tried to draw him back, on my duty as his teacher. I failed him, and his mother.”

“What did she do when she found out?”

“I didn’t want to know. That’s how ashamed I felt. I had no idea what to say to her after what happened. But what I did learn, was that she was suffering too. She started having visions of her son dying at the end of her journey, of him taking up Vader’s mantle and ending up being destroyed by the dark side. And through it all… she wanted her son back, and the war could finally end. She believed he could be saved, and still does now. Her cause lives in everyone who fights alongside her. But her time is running out now. She needs your help more than ever.”

Rey felt the profound burden of responsibility. Leia had saved her life on Kef Bir, by stopping Kylo from killing her. But now Leia didn’t have much life left, and Rey would have to fulfil her dying wish: save her son and win the war, whatever it took.

“I have something for you. Consider it a loan from a teacher to his student, which I’ll want paid back once the war is over.”

The silvery ghost floated across the cove, and towards a cliff face. A family of porgs had built themselves a nest in a shallow cleft in the rock, and underneath their nest, Rey reached in, as gently as she could… and, to her surprise, her fingers touched leather. One porg fluttered around and perched a few feet away, squawking in warning. But Rey carefully removed the leather bundle without dislodging any stones, moss, or feathers… and inside was her gift: another lightsaber.

“I made this one myself, Rey. After I lost my first - my first master gave me that one, which belonged to my father many years ago.”

The blade was pale green, worthy of a wise master, a guardian of life.

“A lightsaber is more than a weapon of defence. It’s a symbol of a Jedi’s honour, and humility before the Force. An apprentice completes their training when they build their own, once they find their kyber crystal. But, with regret, there isn’t the time for that right now. You’re probably gonna need this.”

Rey let it sit in both hands, feeling its weight. “Thank you, master…”

But Luke’s ghost was gone. All that remained was a warm voice, ages worth of wisdom, comfort, encouragement.

“We’ve taught you everything we could, and a thousand generations live in you now. But this is your fight. The galaxy needs you to bring the light that’ll guide them… as does the last Skywalker. It’s not over for you yet.”

_Well, I don’t think I’ll be coming back here anytime soon, if I have to complete the Jedi’s final mission._ Rey began to trek back over the pebbles, and just before she reached the interceptor, her eye caught a sparkle of pale silver, half-buried. A souvenir from this planet, with all the lessons it carried. Even though it wasn’t like her to be sentimental, somehow she knew this little piece of crystal was meant for her…

Kylo’s wayfinder held the trail ready for her to follow - and once Rey made her jump and arrived to Exegol’s border, she sent urgent coordinates back to Ajan Kloss. Poe’s X-Wing was on her tail within minutes, and steadily began to follow her into the astronomical tumult of the maelstrom, starting a long chain of the rebel fleet paving a safe passage together, ship by ship, to the threshold of Exegol…

Rey alighted, and took her first breath of the freezing waterless storm, chilling her almost to the bone. All around, black oceans of bare stone, great twisted fingers of rock sprawling at the edges of the plaza.

The unnerving music of the storm wailed in her ears, as she headed for what looked like shelter. The fortress opening into the earth deep below her feet. Inside, a staircase wider than any she’d ever seen before, bade her into the tenebrous guts of the citadel, climbing down and down, until she was standing in a great half-circle arena, roof open to the sky. Right in the centre, an obsidian throne wrapped in massive, knife-like curving spires, chased in lightning. The dark walls soared above her head, bearing layers and layers of spectral Sith Eternal spectators chanting their devotion, the space all around filled with frosty, sickly twilight. A place that seemed to be sustained and powered purely by dark energy, hanging in the endless sea of night, beyond light, beyond space, beyond life.

“Long have I waited… for my grandchild to come home.”

The whopping voice of Lord Sidious flooded Rey’s slight body, quaking her as if she were nothing more substantial than smoke.

“I never wanted you dead - I wanted you here, Empress Palpatine. You _will_ take the throne. It is your birthright to rule. What all the ordeals you have faced have prepared you for. It is in your blood. _Our_ blood.”

Rey studied the half-mechanical creature as it - he - ascended from the far side.

 _How am I related to this person? He’s broken laws of the living Force, and outlived what nature gave him._ If Supreme Leader Snoke had seen centuries pass, then the lifespan of Darth Sidious had surpassed that by many, many times. Her eyes saw little more than a repulsive, barely-living carcass of a man, a husk of a Sith lord, features contorted and disfigured by the might of the dark side. A huge hood cast a deep shadow over his withered face, and ancient, opaque, blind white eyes. His hands were reduced to crooked puzzles of pale bluish bones, barely covered in papery skin. Beneath the black robes, intricate knots and tendrils of cables and batteries and inorganic machinery supported his life. Fixed into place, he could barely move. But without this support, he’d crumble.

Rey’s emotions and thoughts thinned away on an event horizon, her presence soft and vulnerable in this sunken space of pure darkness. All she had the power to do was speak, her voice almost as fragile as she felt. “I haven't come to lead the Sith, I've come to end them.”

“As a Jedi?”

“Yes.”

“No… never. Your hatred, your anger… it shall draw you to kill me. That is what I want. Kill me, and my spirit will pass into you. Dear child, my body is weak, its final destruction cannot be held off for much longer. But you have inherited a vigorous gift for healing, and the strength in your body, your youth, will embrace and engulf all the power I carry. As all the Sith live in me, you will be Empress. We shall be one.”

The cold air burned Rey’s lungs, and she silently fought it with the meagre warmth her body still held… and on the wind, an ardent heartbeat was being carried. It tugged at the bond locked onto her own heart. She’d nearly stopped that heart - his heart - in an angry fit… and brought it back from the brink, stronger, brighter, more determined than ever before… she would know him anywhere. Never more than here. Right now. _Ben…?_

_Ben! Ben Solo!! You’re here! You’ve come for me. For all of us! Do you see me? Please, be with me…_

Yet, his mere presence, far above her, was enough of a beacon of bright energy. Steadied by him, she could let peace fill her head. She could hear Ben when he frantically plunged himself into the dyad… _Rey? I hear you, I’m on my way down… but I could use a weapon._

She saw him clear as high noon, free of the yoke of lingering rage - and a few heavy layers of clothing. Face streaked with blood and sweat, hair a mess, shirt ripped, his eyes shining with resolute courage. And the idiot had dropped his blaster as he’d brawled his way into the fortress.

Anakin’s lightsaber in hand, Rey slowly raised the hilt, her face bathed in luminous blue. Sidious gave a self-congratulatory holler. “The ritual shall begin! Draw your weapon, my child, and take your revenge! The Jedi are extinct, and the Sith shall be reborn!! With your hatred, you shall take my life, and _you will ascend!!_ ”

 _If I remember right, Kylo Ren once said this lightsaber belonged to him. On Starkiller Base, before we blew it up. But it didn’t - he wasn’t worthy of it. It belongs to Ben now._ Rey extended her reach over her shoulder and behind her back, willing him to reach for her and take it… she felt a phantom of his hand brushing against hers, closing around the handgrip and pulling the weapon from her to him through the dyad…

In her mind’s eye, she saw Ben’s opponents recoil in shock at him drawing a weapon out of nowhere - and how he gave a blithe shrug at their disbelief, just like his father would, before fiercely tearing into them… she couldn’t help but smile.

“All you want is for me to hate, but I won't. Not even you.”

“Weak, like your parents!”

“My parents were strong. They saved me from you.”

Cold rage seemed to seethe from Sidious’ grotesque visage. “Your master, Luke Skywalker, was saved by his father. The only family you have here is me. Look up, child, see what you have brought with you.”

Rey peered up into the black sky, and saw the rebel fleet assembling in Exegol’s airspace, gallantly opening fire on the exterior of the citadel.

“Do you see them? They will not last long, no one is coming to help them - and you are the one who led them here.”

 _I did - but this was_ our _plight. To take down this evil once and for all, together._ Rey could only watch, her hope slowly crushing, as the Final Order’s forces charged skywards, and met rebel flyers in a massive sprawl of fireworks, the skyline set aflame.

“Strike me down, take the throne, reign over a new empire, and the fleet will be yours! Only you have the power to save them. Refuse, and your new family dies.”

Defenceless, she sank to her knees on the stones. “Good…”

A few yards away, something - someone - toppled into the arena, footsteps echoing, tearing his way past rubble and cultists alike… Rey had never been so glad to see him. Ben jogged to a slow-down and took place beside her, catching his breath, his face filled with concern and determination. The blue lightsaber still lit at his side, never more ready to slice down anything between him and the beckoning light…

 _Did Palpatine lie to me? He wanted her to come under her own steam?_ All the crazy desires he’d ever had to burn the world down, they never held a candle to her. Yes, he’d give her the universe if she’d wanted… but she never fought for more power. If anyone knew what she wanted, he did. He always had.

“Don’t you _dare_ touch her,” he snarled, turning to Sidious, who responded with a bout of wheezing laughter.

“This is your destiny, young Skywalker. It was no concern of mine how the both of you came to me, I always knew, ultimately you would unite at my bidding! You knew, since the very first moment you locked eyes with her! And you always knew the legacy of your bloodline was nothing but ruination. _Do not_ deny it.”

“I knew? What - after you had three generations of my family in your grasp? And you made me think everything _they_ did made the galaxy worse off?!”

“Your grandfather’s failure was complete and true, but he never lived to see the aftermath of our Empire’s collapse. I needed you to see the truth of what he was, so you would come to me willingly, young Skywalker.”

“ _Stop calling me that!_ ” Ben retorted, lightsaber carving a fiery blue arch before him - Rey grabbed his sleeve, to try and calm him.

“There! This is what I wanted, all these long years! My resurrection will be complete, when my strength is restored, with the Force of life you shall bestow to me!! Thank you, my boy, for delivering her to me, as I commanded! You see what you have done! As once I fell, at the hand of my apprentice, so falls the last Skywalker!”

 _No…_ despair flashed across Ben’s face - and Sidious threw a whip of Force to push him and Rey to their knees… and then, his outstretched, malformed fingers opened… his claws sinking deep into their bond, opening a deep, crippling wound and greedily sucking up the power bleeding from them.

“Stand together… die together! The life force of your bond… a dyad in the Force, a power like life itself - unseen for generations!! If only you’d known what you both possessed, you both could rule unmatched and unchallenged, the descendants of the Emperor and his dutiful apprentice… and now, the power of two restores the one true Emperor…”

His body rejuvenated by the energy he had stolen, his withered flesh thickened, his blind eyes cleared, glowing like yellow fire. The life support cracked and burst, and Sidious stepped down from his frame.

Ben and Rey hit the ground once again, belly-first, sapped of energy. Ben grunted “ow…” at all the air being knocked out of him; Rey gave a high, strained cry, as her forehead and cheek grazed the rock. Somehow she managed to reach a hand to her face, which came away bloody - her cry roused Ben, who painfully rolled his head over towards her, anxious.

“I thank you for your sacrifice, my children… and now, as you refuse to embrace the power of the Sith, you shall die.”

From both of the dark lord’s hands, a mighty bolt of Force-lightning struck both the limp bodies, still down.

Rey’s wail of agony rang high into the fortress, challenging the snarl of the lightning; Ben took the strain with a deep, rasping moan, his hands gripping the rock so hard he swore he might break the ground open… he pawed blindly around where he could reach, hungry for something, anything, to hold onto through the torment…

And his hand brushed hers. Smaller, more delicate than his - he grabbed on and held tight, for life itself.

She could feel his strength, she needed it so badly. She gripped onto him with every drop of fading strength she still had.

The strike of lightning, thank the stars, died down. And the two of them could finally breathe freely, clinging to one another, and their lightsabers, as they pulled themselves back up; Rey’s head throbbed, fixing her in a crouch, and Ben hunkered down behind her, holding her to his chest. Sidious raised his arms in deep, contemptuous pride, cackling, gloating at his victims.

Another lightning strike was being readied to launch at them… Rey was fast enough to respond, lighting Luke’s green sword, left hand thrusting it forward to shield her and Ben from the onslaught.

 _Peace, Ben. Balance. Light and dark combined. Hold my hand._ Rey’s right hand gripped Ben’s left wrist, coaxing his left hand to copy her, forming a secure fastening between them.

“Let your deaths be the final word in the story of Rebellion. You both are _nothing!_ A scavenger girl and the fallen prince of Alderaan are no match for the power in me! For I am _all the Sith!!_ ” Sidious declared…

“And we…” Rey breathed, soft as a prayer, “are all the Jedi.”

Ben drew up his grandfather’s blue hilt, forming a big turquoise X with the green blade… the lightning rang against them, the charge of pure, engorged raw Force swelling, growing tense and angry and heavy…

And Ben and Rey stayed balanced within it. Eyes closed, holding each other, holding the Force-lightning off, both of their minds buried deep in the gentle rhythm of hearts, beating in unison. _Peace._

The tension in the incredible storm of sheer staggering Force began to crack and split -

Bolts of lightning threw themselves in every direction, a flux of strikes ripping Sidious apart in deafening fury -

The spray of light, blurs of blue and green burning passionately together, grew white with heat, and finally erupted - a supernova, burning through the arena of Sith Eternal, a phenomenal ignition that transformed the citadel into a newborn star…

A mile above, rebels caught sight of the burst of light from Exegol’s surface, awed at the sight, and at the thought of the Final Order being close to destroyed at last…

The white fires dissipated… and deep shadows settled.

The explosion had blown Rey and Ben several yards apart, blasting through their already-weak bodies… the Force had drained so much of them without remorse…

Ben was laying on his back, half-conscious. A horrifying blow had rippled through his back and legs, though not quite enough to break bone… as his thoughts tried to surface, a profound, hollow numbness somewhere demanded attention.

_Rey…? Rey?! Where are you?_

Ben twisted himself around on the stone like a beaten animal, unsure for a moment exactly how to get to his feet. Scrambling over, he peered through the blackness, spotting the broken ragdoll of dirtied white. _Oh, stars, no…_

He staggered towards her, his weary legs barely able to support him… but somehow he made it to her side. He slumped back down, and hoisted her into his arms -

Was she dead already? Good as, it seemed. Expired through unbearable exhaustion. Rey was stiff and cold, and horribly heavy. Her hazel eyes half open, flecks of blood crusted over the grazes on her face.

Ben’s insides grew cold too, at the dumbing feeling of defeat. He cast a desperate glance around: but all was silent. Silvery residual threads of smoke drifted upwards, tossed about by gentle winds. Sidious has been reduced to a pile of sparking gears and steaming ashes, blowing against the empty throne. The rebel squad were still high in airspace, no reason for them to land. They weren’t coming. Nobody was coming.

One hand slung round her waist, the other at the base of her skull, Ben gazed at Rey’s body, wordless in despair…

Once, in Snoke’s throne room, he was unconscious at her mercy - whoever he was then, he was gone. Snuffed out. But Kylo Ren had not yet learned what it meant, to have the veneer of what he thought was true broken open. Armour that had become a burden, that had to be taken down. Kylo had pushed Rey to do exactly that: to stop believing that her blood family were out there caring about their little girl… it had gone completely wrong, and nearly torn them apart.

 _Never_ again. Ben pulled her into his chest, burying his face into her shoulder. One end of the dyad floating untethered, searching for its home again.

When they’d slain one bloated, self-important monstrosity, and Kylo wanted to take it all for himself, the phantasm in the shadows still had all his plans of vengeance coming together… Kylo never would’ve had a chance of breaking away, with or without Rey, who’d thrown his own plans into chaos. None of that mattered at all.

The ghost of Sidious’s grip made Ben shudder, exposing the stagnant, blood-spattered hollow in his soul where his innocence once was.

Rey more than made up for that lost innocence. She’d hated the wannabe Sith with seething passion - but she saw, and accepted, the haunted young man, without even needing any memory of who Kylo used to be. She was fierce - but only when she was protecting herself and loved ones. She wasn’t a dragon-slayer. She really, bloody _cared_. She’d _always_ cared… he’d found himself prepared to give everything up for her, before he’d even realised…

 _Oh, Rey, you sweet little desert gremlin. I’m so sorry… we nearly killed each other, and you could’ve left me to die, and you saved me instead._ Anguish came creeping through him, so unlike any pain he’d felt before, yet he knew what it was. He knew heartbreak when it hooked into him… tears clawed into his eyes and down his throat…

Hang on - she’d saved him on Kef Bir with her life Force, calmly pulling power into him to stitch his wound up. Power of that caliber was in plentiful supply in their dyad… Ben laid her in his lap, cradling her head and resting his other hand on her stomach; those hands of his had the strength to shatter glass and warp metal, and strangle the living daylights out of people. Being gentle made a refreshing change… but there was no knowing if this would work. She’d been near-dead for what felt like hours…

Rey’s world was still fuzzy, shadows and glimmers swimming in her eyes, but in her torso, what was once cold, now flooded with warmth. Warmth that spread right through her, sending a gentle charge through every nerve… she felt a hand resting on her, pouring life Force into her. _Ben’s hand_ \- and she came to, peering into his face, a face full of nervous hope. Hoping that he could bring her back, that her brain still had full function and she’d remember him -

Her emotions writhed and rioted, crashing against their walls… but the only one that managed to escape was gratitude. Gratitude with which she gazed into those brown eyes.

“Ben…”

_Thank you, Ben… thank you for saving me, for killing the dark lord beside me, for coming back to the light… thank you thank you thank you… I don’t care if you didn’t deserve it. You needed it. I’d have wanted nothing more if the light could have you back._

She ran her hand over his cheek - the gash she’d cut into his face was so faded, it was good as gone. If you didn’t know he’d had his face sliced open, you’d think it never had been…

She’d never kissed anyone before - love stories were things dealers and travellers and scoundrels in the smoked, rusty watering holes in Niima Outpost shared amongst themselves. Love wasn’t something she ever thought she needed to prepare herself for. But then again, neither was the Force…

Well, screw it. Compassion was important, even the Jedi believed so wholeheartedly. And love had the power to create and nurture, just as it could destroy. Not innocent, infantile, unconscious love - love learned. Love that weathered pain and anger and starvation, love that kept you going through the worst horrors in the universe. And she honestly couldn’t think of anything better to do in the moment -

She clutched his face in her hands, and pressed her lips onto his, kissing him with all the thanks and joy and love with which a dying desert creature would drink down a last drop of water… and when, with reluctance, she pulled away, Ben’s face was filled with tenderness, a sweet sadness that nearly broke her heart. The deepest, most ridiculous hope Ben had held onto, despite it all, it had just come true, when he never thought it really would… her sun-warmed, freckled sweetness seemed to promise a future of peace and happiness he’d forgotten could be possible - with her. Real happiness was staring him in the face, and it left him shy and speechless, smiling for the first time in endless ages. An endearing, self-conscious, yet broad smile that crinkled right up to his eyes; Rey’s touch caressed the deep dimple in his cheek in delight. _I have to keep hold of you now. Keep you safe. You must be the most precious thing I’ve ever discovered. And I was right - this is how we’d win, and I had to get you to see it too. And now you do… now, you’re free._

She had absolutely no idea what she’d do, once she’d reunited with the rebel forces, and everyone back at base… but right now, this moment was theirs alone. She threw an arm over his shoulders and pressed herself onto him, wrapping their little victory in the heavy warmth between them.


	7. Mercy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my original draft, Ben was supposed to die. As he did in the film. But I wrote everything you’ve read so far very non-linearly, changing it more than I expected myself to, and putting in as much emotion as I could. Which wasn’t exactly fun or easy at times. And I ended up telling myself, “for ****’s sake, lady, let them live. Reunite them. Give them happiness! Just do it! Who cares what the haters will think?!”

Rey hoisted Ben’s arm over her shoulders so she could help him walk; they both agreed, they couldn’t go back to base immediately. Someone high-ranking might be tempted to shoot Ben on sight once they’d landed, before either of them could get a word in. Rey needed a confidante; fleeing through the fortress and into the armoury, she hauled Ben onto a small transport, took off for the battlefields above the citadel, and peered out across her allies, preparing to leave Exegol’s orbit at last. Everyone had taken hits, some more severe than others. Although they’d be pressing her to let them know that she had survived, she had a precious window of time to find somewhere to hide Ben, let him rest, and prepare herself for returning to base and explaining everything. One tough old freighter was still static, nearly ready to fly, and she felt a cautious little twinge of hope when she noticed. One - no, two of Leia’s old friends were aboard that ship, whom Rey stood the best chance of reasoning with first.

“I know a good place to find someone to deal with you,” Rey called over her shoulder from the cockpit, expecting an embarrassed groan… but instead, Ben stared down at the hull of the _Falcon_ through the glass in silence, with a stone-cold face on.

Rey began dialling, unfazed. “General Calrissian, it’s Rey - yes, I’m fine! Never better. We - I killed Palpatine, yes… but I really, really need a favour. I’ve got someone with me who, erm… needs somewhere to recuperate. And the two of us need to speak with General Organa. It’s important. Permission to board?”

She’d only spoken to Lando once before, briefly. Leia had sent a transmission to him as the crew were en route to Pasaana; he’d accompanied Luke while he’d been tracking down the second wayfinder, and was able to give them help in locating where to touch down, far enough away from stormtroopers to give them a fighting chance. More help than they’d anticipated, especially as they’d set course for Pasaana at such short notice. Rey knew nothing of his relationship with Ben - she would find out soon enough…

Rey strode aboard the _Falcon_ , with a confidence spurred by naïvety as much as anything else. Ben cautiously followed her, slowed by his exhaustion, and the rapidly-growing, shameful realisation of what he was walking into.

“General, I absolutely know what this looks like. But I can explain. I’m not expecting anyone to understa - ”

“Who the hell is that?” Lando marched into the corridor and abruptly halted, with a loud sweep of cape against his cane and legs, eyes bulging. “Oh, you have got to be kidding… ”

The last time he saw Han and Leia’s son, he was a boy of ten, soon to be taken away to his uncle’s training temple, whom nobody suspected would ever be consumed by darkness… now, Lando saw the man become - and returned: tired, wounded from battle, and immensely wary. Slumped onto the floor, sighing at the purr of the revving engine, his eyes upturned to his parents’ flamboyantly-dressed old friend. “Hey…”

Lando’s jaw was slack for several seconds, memories jostling with news of the battle’s end, and a crowd of questions fighting for priority. Somehow he managed to get out “Young man, I assure you _you have no idea_ how mad your mother’ll be when we get home.”

Ben gave a weary shrug. The weight of how much time had passed, how far he’d gone, laid heavy on him. “Don’t worry, I’m already preparing myself. I was expecting you to have a blaster pointed at me soon as I came aboard. All you’ve got is our word to take, that I’ve renounced the First Order.”

“Is that so?”

Ben continued wryly, “I guess you can say that Rey here caught the Supreme Leader before she came here, in anticipation to take him to General Organa, to answer for his crimes.”

“Well. Judging from how she was last time I saw her, she’ll have enough to deal with at - ”

Rey pushed in, edgy. “Yes, okay, she’ll be shocked to see him… but all I want is for her to see that her son wants to amend for what he did. It’s her responsibility as our leader, to make the decision of what we do with him, I know… but she would know what he’s been through. Better than anyone.”

“I can’t argue with that, nor can I say if she’ll be in a forgiving mood when we get to base. But we’ll have to see when we touch down.”

“General, we can wait. We just need a place _to_ wait. We need time to decide what to say to everyone - word will spread to our allies across the galaxy, the Final Order has fallen, the Supreme Leader taken into our custody, and, and - please keep it quiet!”

“Calm down, girl. The war will soon be over… Rey, don’t worry about it.”

She fell silent for a few seconds. “Alright… what about General Organa? How is she? Have you heard anything?”

“Last transmission I got, she’s reasonably stable… but that’s about it. And that was a few hours ago - but if Leia’s condition had got any worse, they’d have probably alerted us.”

Ben felt an anxious knot he didn’t know he had untwist itself. _My mother’s still alive_. He watched as Rey stared after Lando disappearing towards the cockpit, hoping she wouldn’t follow him, as he couldn’t quite bring himself to get up… until his ears were hit with a deep _rawwllll_ , muffled against the engine but unmistakable - even in a huge pack of Wookiees he’d recognise that voice. Through the corridor came a huge hulking furry beast, even more shocked to see him than Lando had been. “Chewie…?”

The Wookiee’s growl swelled into a full-throated, guttural squall - indeed, he was easily the only one large enough to make Ben feel remotely small, the only one strong enough to pull Ben to his feet himself, arms outstretched to yank Ben up by the shoulders, and bombarding his ears with anguished moaning.

“I know, I know… I’m sorry I killed him. I am! …if I’d known what it’d make me do… Chewie, I didn’t want to kill him. But the dark side had screwed me up… I’m so sorry…”

“Chewie, don’t kill him!” Rey came tumbling back towards them - but Chewbacca had wrapped Ben into a stiflingly warm, furry hug, still grumbling mournfully. Ben’s face was stuffed into his chest, the rest of his body somewhere between his paws, unable to move, and rousing a cavalcade of memories; of the sweet, black-haired baby who nestled into one arm and pulled tiny handfuls of his fur; of the menacing, black-robed warrior who drove his scarlet sword into his father’s chest - and whom Chewie had shot at in response… and so much more besides, all leading to where he was now…

Almost no noise could escape through all that fur, but Ben found himself crying, quietly but shaking violently, against the rumbling growls, comforting, chastising. Rey dropped the bundle she’d brought, and wrapped herself around the pair of them, her arms feeding more warmth into the embrace. Chewie’s growls grew quiet, and he and Rey had enveloped Ben in cosy consolation. She crawled one hand up, and found Ben’s hair, blood-matted and scruffy, yet she stroked his hair anyway, soothing him.

“Ben, do you want to sit down?”

Grabbing the bundle, Rey half led, half supported Ben into the crew quarters, and he collapsed heavily onto one bunk, before she had a chance to wrap a blanket over his shoulders. Ben at last seemed to relax, in a dark, quiet, concealed corner, an escape from the final act of the conflict unfolding outside, where nobody else would find him for a while.

“I couldn’t find any clean clothes - ” she admitted.

“It’s alright.”

Instead, she just draped the blanket over him, perching on the mattress next to him, and she gently rubbed a soft cloth over his face, flushed and blotchy with stray tears. And smears of fresh blood from the split lip, and the cut under his eye, both still unhealed. Pawing over the covers, Rey found the small metal can; opening it, the contents gave off a mild, clean smell.

“This is just bacta gel, Ben.” He let her dab the ointment onto his wounds, rubbing off stains of blood.

“When we get to base, you can clean up properly. You’ll be okay.”

“You need some of that too, Rey.” His voice was husky, yet gentle.

“No, I’m fine.”

Again, a little of his father’s sass was coming out. “I don’t need to be babied, any more than you do, tough girl. Play fair, now.”

Ben pulled a hand up from under the blanket, dipped a fingertip into the can, and carefully smeared the gel over the grazes on Rey’s cheek, working up to her forehead. His brow furrowed slightly in concentration, sparking a hint of the delight that his smile had given Rey.

Their defences were down, and the triumphant boon was at last beginning to sink in. The dyad didn’t have far to stretch now, as they were close enough to really be touching skin to skin. _Ohh, so close, at last…_ despite this being so new, somehow it felt familiar. It felt like something that had patiently waited all their lives for them both to reach for. It felt like… it was _theirs_. Always had been. An untroubled, satisfying stillness that let them breathe. Where their two frequencies overlapped and ran together. Rey found herself reaching up for Ben’s hand, so much larger than hers - stroking the back of his hand, and it stilled on her cheek, warm, tender. She planted a kiss on his palm.

The kiss sent a ripple through him, an acute sweetness, a thrill truly unlike anything he’d ever felt before… it equalled the intensity of the painful emotions he knew better. The thought of that pain becoming a distant memory one day floated into his mind… it made a few more tears well up in his eyes. Oh, how strongly the Force made him feel everything…

“Ben?” Rey squeezed his hands, her own tears threatening to fall. “Ben, it’s okay, it’s all gonna be okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you. Ever again. We’ve all felt _too much pain_. We have to have peace now.”

“How are we going to do that? The world’s not used to living in peace.”

“Well, we’ll have to figure it out. If the Resistance doesn’t accept you, we’re leaving together. I don’t care where we go. I’ve had _enough_ of being alone!”

The faint tinge of anger in her soft voice, almost hurt Ben to hear. “But, you’ve never been alone.”

“ _Yes I know!_ \- but, Ben, I didn’t know what it was, all this time I felt… something, on the other side of the galaxy. I couldn’t say if I’d know what it was when I saw it. If I’d known the Force back then, I suppose I’d find a way to explain it. But all I knew was… this presence, it always reminded me how… how I was never complete. All my life, I was never complete.”

“I was ten when you were born, right? I remember that was when I first felt something leave a print on the Force that hadn’t come from a Skywalker… and it never let me go. Even when the dark side was coming for me. Driving me away from everyone I cared about… but I knew there was still innocence in the universe. I knew what it was… and I wanted to find out _who_ it was.”

“I knew I couldn’t be alone…”

“I saw you, in the forest on Takodana, and it _was_ you.”

She couldn’t keep the tears in anymore, and she started trembling as they trickled down, and ran into his hands, up on her cheeks again, to comfort her. “Ben… is it so bad to want your family to come back and find you? I mean… I was a little girl. Scared to death. I didn’t know any better. And if I tried to be real with myself, I just felt more alone than ever. Sensing something that’s just out of reach, and I wanted it so much.”

“I know… I decided I never deserved the light again, Rey. After all that had happened, I didn’t want to come home. Everyone would be better off without me. I couldn’t live with what I’ve done. I couldn’t let it all go.”

“And you told me _I_ have to let go!”

Shame didn’t feel quite strong enough to describe what he felt. “Yes… I’d been blinded by how angry I’d let myself get. Even at you, and you said outright you were done fighting me.”

“Some enemy you were. You knew exactly what it felt like. How alone I was.”

“I’d trapped myself in what I’d tried to turn myself into.”

Shaking her head, she took his face into her hands, fingers brushing into his hair. “You’re free now, Ben. I promise. You can be a better man, you can find the light. I’ll help you find it, Ben… I’ll always be there for you… always, Ben, _always_ …”

He gazed at her with big soft sad porg-worthy eyes, his forehead worked with creases, his words running dry. All he had left was a whisper, “I know.”

Tiredness really setting in, Ben began to drift off, his smile warm, serene, slightly rueful. Just drinking in the glorious sight of Rey, euphoric with newfound lightness, a shiny patina of tears on her cheeks, her lips slightly parted… she couldn’t help herself; she leaned in and kissed him, unbearably softly, somber and sweet and a little shaky… he couldn’t stay alert to keep kissing her. So instead she kissed him, over and over and over, little soft kisses landing on lips and cheeks and nose and forehead. Like she’d had thousands of kisses saved up for him, and she couldn’t hold them back any longer. She might want to just smother every inch of him in sweetness… but not now. Not here. As Ben gave in to sleep at last, Rey carefully rested herself beside him. A place where she belonged.

She slung an arm over his chest, and basked in his solid warmth, the slow rhythm of his breathing, the silence filling the cabin. Silence that invited her to meditate. Which she’d be wise to do, if she wanted to have the right words ready to say to Leia…

Half of her body was tingling uncomfortably before too long. So, as carefully as she could so she wouldn’t disturb him, Rey peeled herself off the bunk, and slowly stretched out her arms and legs once she was on the floor again. She rubbed at a rock in her shoulder, mussed strands of her hair that had come loose. And her hand bumped against the grazed spot on her temple where bacta gel was still drying - her heart trembled… fast asleep, years seemed to have fallen away from Ben. Pliant, heavy, pouting like a teenager. He looked so vulnerable… her heart screamed at the thought of leaving Ben’s side, even for a second - but her brain gently reminded her it wouldn’t be for very long. She rested her hand on his once more, and brushed one more kiss, feather-light between his brows, and slipped away.

She prowled down to the cockpit, and saw long white blurry threads of space flowing past. Still in hyperspace. Chewie was grumbling softly; Lando wasn’t responding, but seemed to be listening closely, deep introspection carving itself into his features. Until he noticed Rey settling into the seat behind him.

“How’s the turncoat?”

“He’s okay, he’s fallen asleep.”

“Right.”

Rey reached for her hair; her lowest bun was coming undone, and the others were pretty skewed, so she may as well take all three down. “We are okay to stay here, aren’t we?”

“I told you, kid, don’t worry. I know you don’t want to start a panic, just marching him into the base immediately and expecting nothing bad to happen. I’ve been smuggling probably longer than you’ve been alive. As has his dad. I’ll take care of you.”

“Thank you, General… but, why are you being so generous? I mean, you didn’t have to do this. The rest of the Resistance could still trial him with other First Order war criminals, regardless of whatever he did on Exegol.”

“That’s true. We’ve been at war for a damn long time, and a lot of pain can get inflicted in that much time. I’ve been wondering if anyone will want complete annihilation of everyone in the galaxy allied with the Order. Just wipe out everyone on our enemy’s side.”

“But… what kind of precedent would that set, if that was decided?”

“Not a pretty one, I’ll say that. But I don’t really think I’m the right person to ask, kid.”

Rey shook her hair loose, fingertips scratching absently into her scalp as she considered it all. “General… how long has the galaxy been at war?”

“Huh. Too long. A lot longer than I’ve been involved, anyway. Even though it feels like yesterday when I heard Han had decided to jack it all in and go join the cause. If I’m honest, that really didn’t sound like him, even though this old girl would certainly get put to good use…” Lando ran a hand lovingly over the console.

“It wasn’t until the war came to Bespin, when I realised what the galaxy was up against. But we got ourselves together, and eventually we won - at least, for a while. But Leia and Luke wanted back the world we had before the war, and we know how well that worked out. Maybe we need to start thinking in a different way if we want to build a better world.”

“Yeah. And we can’t forget the mistakes we made. They’ll get repeated if we do.”

“Very wise of you, Rey. And I bet Leia would agree with you. But she doesn’t regret anything more than sending away her son, to train with Luke. She did it with best intentions, but she made a serious mistake… y’know, I always knew Ben would deliver a big blow into the universe. Kids tend to get in trouble, but Ben… he’s the blood of Jedi. Half royalty, half scoundrel. The galaxy would never be the same again, once Ben Solo had started looking for his destiny… even when he was a little kid, he was bold, and spirited, and smart as well. We never did it in front of him, but we used to fight about him a lot. What he should and shouldn’t know about his family…”

“But you still loved him.”

“Never stopped.”

 _He needs love,_ she thought. _He needs to know he can still love. And be loved. He can start from there, and build his strength back up… love won’t fix everything, but it’s the best place to start from._

“I lost someone too, Rey. My daughter. The Order made a target of the children of the Alliance’s leaders, trapped them in their war machine. I think she’s a stormtrooper - or, was, at least. No idea where she could be now. I’ve never stopped wondering what happened to her… I mean, she was a baby when she was taken…”

Chewie gave a solemn growl, low enough to melt into the throb of the engine, as the hyperdrive ground down.

“Here we are.”

Ajan Kloss was lit a deep gold by a setting sun. The rainforest was bathed in dark, set with a constellation of small campfires, and pockets of music and cheering… a party that had evidently been going for several hours. Gazing out, Rey wondered after her friends… but she knew she could not join the festivities. Instead, she bolted for the mess rooms, to clean up and grab some clean clothes, for herself and Ben.

Finn and Rose were sat outside, talking and laughing - and upon seeing Rey, they swept her into a huge hug - she managed to ask for Poe, and they pointed her towards the Command room, where a conference of leaders was being hosted.

Rey peeked in through a cracked-open door, spying half a dozen people around a table, with a projection of Leia at the head of the room.

“All I can say now, is make the best of victory. The fight is over, now we honour those we lost, and enjoy our hard-won peace.” Leia addressed the gathering.

“We’ve already started receiving news on the Order’s defeats across the galaxy. People have been fighting for their freedom, and it’s within their reach at last.” Connix said; Rey recognised the braid coiled round her head, as well as her voice.

“Once we’ve made contact with surviving First Order officials, we shall start transporting them to the Capital system where they’ll stand trial. Sentencing them certainly won’t be fast, or straightforward. We’ve all had our different reasons for going to war, so the fair thing to do would be make sure each conviction fits the crime appropriately.” Commander D’Acy followed up, which was met with a muted blur of responses around the table.

Poe managed to get his voice above the rumble. “When will any trials start? Has the Final Order already made some official declaration of defeat?”

“Probably not for a few weeks. Maybe even longer. I’ll keep contact with my allies in government, people I trust to rebuild the Republic… and I’ll need you to join them, so we can be sure we safeguard a new era of peace.” Leia replied.

“You want us to go to Coruscant?”

“Yes, General. You all fought very hard out there, you’ve proved to me, and yourselves, you have the makings to be great leaders… now, you go and share what you’ve learned with the rest of the galaxy. They’ll need you.”

“Aren’t you gonna come with us?”

“I hate to say it, Poe… and these words are never leaving this room - I really doubt I’m going to leave this planet now. My days of fighting and leading a charge are over now… but I’m thankful that I got to see peace and justice be returned to this world. Now, it’s to you, to protect it.”

“Understood, General Organa.”

“Thank you, General Dameron, everybody… go and enjoy the party. And, may the Force be with you all.”

For no longer than a heartbeat, Rey felt a chill in the Force - _Leia’s very frail now, I don’t have much time_ \- and she had to hide it with a big, celebratory smile as the party met her with firm handshakes and pats on the back, and a big, insistent hug from Poe. But as soon as she had a chance to ask, she did quickly, beseechingly: “General Organa, please can I see you, in private?”

“Now?”

“No, not right now. But soon. There’s someone with me, who needs to see you, even if just once, before… well…”

“Alright. No need to be indelicate. Yes, that’s fine. I can take a couple of visitors.”

“Thank you!”

A few short minutes later, Rey was sprinting back aboard the _Falcon_ , and back to Ben’s side. She woke him with a squeeze of his hand and a sprinkle of kisses.

“Ben… it’s time to go.”

She wrapped a blanket over him, to hide his face as they left the ship, and they sneaked through the brush into base - in spite of the advancing night, Rey didn’t want to take any chances. She stood guard as Ben shut himself in the ‘fresher, wanting a shower to wake himself up properly, and cast away the last dark traces he might be carrying… Rey caught sight of Lando padding across the plaza, towards Jannah, who was quietly grooming one of her orbaks before penning him up for the night. Lando’s eyes met Rey’s briefly, she gave a tiny nod as he smiled warmly, before starting up talk with Jannah with his trusted charm. Rey felt the Force pulse between them, two more undulating journeys finally joining together…

“What’s all this I’m hearing about Kylo Ren turning himself in?” Poe came jogging back towards her, his expression laced with incredulity.

 _Oh, terrific. Rumours always travel fast_. “Erm - ”

“Alright, Rey, I need to know, what happened? On Kef Bir? You just ran off. Finn said you’d been caught by Ren once you’d climbed onto the wreck, you were fighting, and… then you disappeared. Just… gone! For a moment there I thought he was gonna kill you.”

“So did I - ”

“But he didn’t. You made it to Exegol, you sent coordinates to us… you went down into the citadel. On your own… was that you? On the surface. The explosion?”

“Yes - no! Not just me. It wasn’t just me, Poe. There was no way I could kill Palpatine on my own. I realised that once I got down there, when I saw him in the flesh.”

“Right…” he didn’t look convinced.

“Poe, there’s a few things I need to explain. There’s things about the Force I’m still trying to understand. But whatever happened, believe me I would _never_ want to side with our enemies…”

Ben’s heart was in his throat, as he pushed his damp hair back. Strangely, he didn’t feel terribly out of place, not in the quiet of rebel dorms. He supposed he was on the right side now, but now the war was over, sides didn’t matter so much anymore. Deep down, he wasn’t really going to care where he was now - as long as Rey was with him.

He’d never been known for intelligence; he’d always obeyed his heart more than anything else, regardless of what his name was. He considered when he must have realised that Ben Solo was never gone: when Rey first called him by that name. Rey, who never consciously knew Ben. All she’d had was his Force-signature, blind, instinctive. Yet, this bond was so intimate, he wished he could explain it, beyond how he just _knew_ he belonged at her side… she was a spring, an oasis. As lovely as a desert flower. Ben hadn’t seen anything in his thirty years as beautiful as her smile, or the subtle greenness in her golden eyes… where light lands, a shadow is always cast… but he’d been in the darkness for long enough. He was craving the light she’d showed him.

He felt her presence wasn’t far away. He wouldn’t elbow his way into her head, not now, not ever again. Not when they’d learned they could trust each other. She trusted him, with all her heart… she loved him, right? He certainly loved her. Maybe they didn’t need to say it, if they couldn’t yet. Ben knew he couldn’t - it scared the hell out of him… and the thought of facing his mother for the first time in twenty years already scared him enough…

He tugged on the hem of his new shirt; the fresh clothes Rey had given him had probably been grabbed quickly upon her seeing they’d fit him. He scrutinised himself in the mirror, admitting that the mid-grey of the shirt and trousers actually complemented his dark hair - in fact, he almost saw an echo of Han Solo in his reflection, which was peculiarly humbling. The black of Kylo Ren being rinsed out. The way the neck of the shirt was cut, his throat was more exposed than he would like; if his scar hadn’t faded so much, everyone would get to eyeball it. He pressed his hand onto his bare throat, unsure what to make of the feel of air on his skin. Regardless of how wonderful Rey’s bare skin felt against his own…

Rey’s voice was coming from behind the door, reminding him that he wasn’t in serious danger. Not while she was around. Prowling to the door, he pushed it open just enough to see her; yellow-robed, hair loose, her face filled with a serious calm, as she spoke with General Dameron - about him. Discussing the dyad, and the power they only had when they stood as one. The power that the Emperor had craved greedily for himself - and would be his destruction when he tried to take it from them.

“…when he had both of us before him, he felt the bond we had. He needed it, it would bring his life back completely. This was what he’d been waiting all this time for. He wanted us both. He wanted our power.”

“The power in this bond between you?”

“Yes. The dyad, he described it as… a power like life itself. Like nothing the galaxy had seen for generations.”

“Right… is that why he didn’t die when you stabbed him, on the Death Star wreck?”

“And I healed him? Well, yes.”

Poe’s face slowly took on an astonished gawp. “Does that mean that… neither of you can be killed? If one of you is injured, the other can just pass the Force to them and save them? That’s insane!”

“That’s putting it very simply. I’m good at healing with the Force anyway, acute injuries, mostly. But… Ben Solo, he’s stronger than I am. Once we were together, even after Palpatine took power from us, we were still stronger together.”

“And that was how you were able to kill him?”

Rey shuddered, her hands seizing in a blithe gesture that meant nothing. She hadn’t really considered how close she’d come to losing her life on Exegol, never mind admitting that to anyone. Not that she would take the Resistance’s trust in her for granted, but she wanted to be a strong fighter, with a Jedi’s wisdom. Never putting herself as such a terrible risk.

“It nearly killed her. The stress of it. All the raw might of the Force.” Ben let his voice reach them past the doorway.

Poe twisted round in shock, swinging the door open, and staring dumbly into the face of the man who used to be Kylo Ren.

“I’m unarmed. Don’t panic.”

“Is that true?!”

“Yes. He’s right, the effort of summoning that much power was going to kill me.” Rey answered.

“And you saved her life?” Poe’s voice strained, as he tried to process this revelation.

“Poe - ”

“You didn’t say he was here!”

“I brought him here myself. Smuggled him in. I wanted to keep it quiet, I didn’t want to start a riot by announcing to everyone he’s been caught. And please don’t tell anyone if you can help it. General Organa will want to see him, so she can decide what to do with him. After all, she is his moth - ”

“Is that who I think it is?”

Finn and Rose had materialised round the corner, their attention caught by the shock of Ben’s cunning emergence.

Rey stood up, and grabbed Ben by the forearm, pulling him towards her in a mix of restraint and protectiveness. “ _That_ is Leia’s son. Her only child, who she lost, a long, long time ago… we know, he put on a mask, and committed horrible acts through this war, we all know what he did. But General Organa still wanted her son to come back, even after everything that happened. She wanted him to have a second chance. Even when all of the rest of us didn’t… I didn’t! We saw him kill his father with our own eyes, Finn… but then, when the bond opened itself to us, I got to see how he wishes he’d never done that. I saw who he really was inside. How tortured he was. And how in the end, he was fighting the same evil that we were… he saved my life. And we destroyed Palpatine together.”

Ben’s face was carefully expressionless, aside from the colossal guilt in his eyes. “I’m truly sorry for what I did to you, all of you… I’m not that person anymore. I wasn’t to know how the dark lord far more powerful than me was making all my decisions for me. But it doesn’t matter. I know I’ve killed so many innocent people… trial me. Exile me, lock me up, execute me, I really don’t care. I’ve got nothing left to lose.”

“And after all those times you and your army called me traitor! …it’s Finn, by the way.”

“Ben Solo.”

Finn laughed in disbelief, sounding like he wanted to give Ben a huge hug and a punch in the face at the same time. Rose had her hands over her nose and mouth as if tears were imminent. But Poe’s face was reverting back to cool, yet slightly crinkled. Thinking.

“You’re wrong on that last point, you know. You’ve still got your old lady.”

“Is my mother here?”

“Yes. She won’t be going anywhere until she’s seen you.”

Leia had retired to her bed, laying down like a queen, an ornate Alderaanian weave blanketing her, her long grey hair coiled around her head like a hooded stole. She looked asleep, but was really meditating, preserving whatever was left of her strength. Her print on the Force was muted, yet clear as still water. Anyone else’s presence would ripple through the silence to her - and Ben paused by her door, suddenly feeling like a child all over again. He let his mind open, so he could hear her, once she felt him.

Rey whispered to Ben, tense behind him, “do you want me to come with you?”

“No, it’s alright.”

_I hoped for so long, even when I knew I had to stop. Because this is what happens in war. People lose their loved ones. But… I just can’t accept this loss. Not this one. Not after how my family suffered so much, and the galaxy suffered because of us. I never wanted to see my child bear the pain that we had. I did all I could to protect him… and it turned out to be the worst thing I could’ve done… but I’ll always love him. As long as we both live, as long as he’s a Skywalker, as I am, I’ll never stop loving him… I remember, before he was born, I had the most horrible nightmares, and… and I could feel him writhing, like he felt distressed too. When I tried to reach my baby through the Force, I felt the darkness there. Trying to cut him away from me… and it broke my heart. He was still so little when I sent him away to train with Luke… and I never saw him again… if only I could see him now. He’s a grown man now. My son… my poor dear son… I wish I could see him, hold him in my arms, just one more time…_

It felt like a dream, a feverish illusion, made cloudy by her weakened state. Behind her closed eyes, Leia saw an endless light, a wondrous field of gold that lifted her away from her pain, her fatigue, her heartache… through the misty recesses of her memories, she could see Han’s easy smile, hear the bubbly laugh of her little son… she saw Ben’s eyes fill with wonder at his father’s ship taking off, felt his surprise when he made a toy fly across the room all by itself… she’d cherished the bond she had with Ben, even though it wasn’t something she could easily explain. To Leia, her family was a precious gift. Nothing short of a blessing. She never wanted to think on the darkness that spiked the Skywalker bloodline, out of the innocent, irrational fear, and guilt that any parent would suffer.

As the minutes passed, Ben worked up the courage to approach her bed, kneel down, and take her hand in his own.

“Ben… I would’ve liked to just go home once the fighting was done.”

“Well, we’re not home. We’re here, half a galaxy away, and the war is over. At last. And I’m here now.”

Was that his voice? It was deep, much deeper than the voice in her memory. She had to open her eyes, and she saw a young man’s face at her side, with unruly black hair and a scatter of little markings and brown eyes, all she knew very well.

“You’re here? Ben? …Ben, it’s you?”

“Mom… it’s me. I’m here.”

“Oh, Ben… oh, stars, Ben… you’re here. It’s really you, you’re back.” Infirmity be damned, Leia leaned forward, her trembling hands reaching for Ben’s face.

“I’m so sorry, for everything - ” that deep voice became gravel, cracking with the upwelling of staggering vehement emotion.

“I’m sorry too… you look just like your father, you know…”

That was all it took. Ben slumped beside the bed, face down on the tapestry, sobbing, rather indignantly loudly at that. But he did not care, and nor did she. Leia buried her fingers in the soft black mop, and gave a long, deep, plaintive yet contented sigh. Insufferable tension that had sat deep in her bones for two long decades, weighing her down, finally beginning to ease.

Rey couldn’t turn away; she stood by the door, still as stone, watching lovingly… but when Leia noticed her, the fleeting flash of choler in the older woman’s eyes caught her by surprise.

“Young lady, were you two fighting when I called to my son?”

Rey’s heart sank, and her “yes.” blurted out flatly.

Leia shook her head, with a hint of a cunning smile. “Come over here.”

Rey sat beside Ben, and started dabbing at his eyes with a corner of her frock before he even said anything. Pouting, he slumped against her, arms round her waist.

“Leia, it’s true, isn’t it? Luke told me, you knew.”

“I knew… what?”

“Where my power came from… who it came from. Who _I_ came from.”

“You’re the Emperor’s granddaughter? I had my suspicions, when I felt your presence. But you didn’t know, clearly. And I of all people can be sure to tell you, sometimes a lot of trouble is taken to keep a secret. You were hidden away, from everyone, including yourself. Chalk it down to a mother not wanting to frighten a young girl.”

“Well, I was frightened. I tried to do the right thing, I called Ben to the light, when I saw the conflict in him. But then, when I go to him, I come away with my weapon broken in half. And the Resistance had been reduced down to almost nothing. Luke did tell me not to.”

“I’m sorry,” Ben murmured into her hair.

“I’ve said enough times, Ben, I didn’t want to fight you. But I didn’t understand what I’d done wrong… I started taking it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You must be responsible, when you’re handling the kind of power that you have.” Leia reminded her.

“The Emperor wanted me dead, didn’t he? Ever since I was a little girl.”

“Until he sensed your power growing.”

“Okay, but then… you’d been to Exegol, you’d seen the Emperor, and then you went straight to me to make a point of telling me, you wanted to return and take me with you.”

Ben tightened his hug on Rey’s waist, nuzzling into her shoulder. Hesitant to say anything more.

“Ben?” she gave a soft prod into his side.

“I was _never_ letting him have you. If he killed you, or turned you to the dark side, everything good in the world would be lost.”

“Oh, please…”

“I mean it. How many times did you have a chance to kill me? And you never did? Until the Death Star ruins… you finally were tempted to finish me off once and for all.”

Pain passed across Rey’s features, but Leia dryly remarked, “You nearly gave me a damn heart attack.”

“I was nervous about you all finding out, about the dyad. You might think I was feeding the First Order information on us and our tactics and whereabouts. Which I would never do.”

“I couldn’t see her surroundings anyway - ” Ben pointed out.

Rey pushed back in, “ _Anyway_ , as I said, I’m still trying to figure it out. We both are. This isn’t a thing the Force does, is it? When the bond opened itself, neither of us were strong enough to control something like that. But I admit, I was glad that there was another person somewhere in the galaxy who knows how it feels, having a power like this that I can’t even explain, let alone control. When Luke showed up on Crait, the strain of projecting himself all the way to us was too much for him.”

Leia rested a hand on her wrist. “I know.”

“…even so, he’s still with us.” Rey tried to sound strong, but her voice cracked a little.

“He always will be.”

Rey wriggled around so she could look Ben in the eye. “He did what he did, for you. He didn’t want you to be lost the way his father had been. Yes, just because he’d defeated the dark side once doesn’t mean it would stay defeated forever. But he made a horrible mistake when he sensed the darkness in you.”

“The power you have, Ben, it’s an incredible thing. The galaxy hasn’t seen anything like it since my father was alive. As I said, great power always comes with great responsibility. I never wanted you to think we didn’t love you… all I wanted was for you to learn the ways of the Force, learn some wisdom, learn from the Jedi that came before you… Rey’s right, we never dreamed we’d lose you the way your grandfather was lost.”

That wasn’t sitting well with Ben. He stared morosely at the floor, pulling a stubborn frown. “But, I never asked for power. It’s like… I never had any choice. Right from when I was born, the light and the dark had their influences over me. I never got to be anything, but what was expected of me.”

“I wish we had done things differently, darling…”

“I don’t want pity. I know what I did.”

“Ben…”

“I was selfish… I’d convinced myself nobody loved me. I’d set myself on this path and I wanted to stay on it forever, even if it killed me.”

Rey worked her arms around him, giving him an ardent, almost cross, hug. As though she couldn’t bear to let him go. “Yes, but, that is _complete_ garbage.”

“Well, exactly.”

At that, she squeezed him even tighter.

Soon afterwards, after Leia Organa had quietly completed her testaments, she peacefully joined the Force on one perfect starlit night. By then, almost all the rebel forces had departed Ajan Kloss, but Ben remained; alongside Chewie and Maz Kanata, he spent the still-dark early hours of the morning sat at the summit of a foliage-clad wall of rock, watching one of the last vigils being held. Prayers and songs and sermons were shared around, honouring the long years of unrest the galaxy had endured, and the distant heroes passed into legend, who dreamed of a future of happiness and freedom.

Ben had the hood of his robe pulled up, both out of respect, and to keep his head warm in the cool air. In his hands was a small bundle of golden paper, patterned with elegant Alderaanian glyphs. Silk thread was strung all around the delicate structure, holding in place a round torch, small enough to fit in Ben’s palm. A modest gesture, but Leia wouldn’t have approved of the pomp and pageantry that would come with a royal funeral. Services would be held for her wherever her people had gathered together… but this was the place were she’d passed away. It felt right to do this here.

Ben held the lamp out towards Chewie, who set it alight. It glowed yellow, and then white, with a hot pinkish tone, and warm air began to fill the structure, which unfolded into a many-scalloped shell, big enough for Ben to need both hands to hold it, carefully.

Below, someone threw a shower of bright yellow sparks over the fire; a strong breeze carried the spray of sparkles up, and up, and up, until they were flying…

Ben let the lamp fly as well; it sailed gracefully into the midnight-blue void like a pink flaming chariot, pulled by starry steeds.

“Goodbye, dear princess,” Maz said with warm reverence, and Chewie followed with a deep purr. Ben, however, remained silent.

Somehow, he knew he’d have to work through his grief away from everyone else. And Rey could tell him he deserved his mother’s generosity all she wanted, he still didn’t want to believe her. Whatever future he would have seemed to loom before him like an approaching storm. She had enough optimism for them both.

Maz peered into Ben’s brooding face. “The night is darkest just before the dawn, Junior. It’s old as the stars, but it’s true.”

“A new era begins, huh?”

“Yes. You won’t want to miss it.”

Chewie growled in agreement, rubbing an affectionate paw on Ben’s shoulder.

“What am I going to do?” Ben asked, to himself more than anyone else.

Maz heard, unsurprisingly. “You’ll carry on. Don’t brood yourself into a dark corner again, not when you have people who love you and want to do right by you. And the Force will always be with you.”

Ben gazed skyward, feeling quite insecure, facing the enormous glittering expanse around him. He found himself thinking of fairy tales, and wondering what happens once they end. But he wouldn’t let that trouble him. Stories were meant to be a comfort, and now, the boy who’d have such stories told to him had become a man who might understand them.

 _I’ll always be with you. We all will._ That same comfort came speaking up to him, through the Force. His loved ones, all ready to forgive him. Maybe one day he’d forgive himself. After all, he had plunged into the darkness head-first, and survived. The petite, silver-gowned, noble silhouette of Leia glowed in the corner of his field of vision, alongside Luke, robed and rugged and every bit as noble as his sister. The legacy felt as heavy as it always had, but now it made Ben smile.


End file.
